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Final
 
12
COLO 28
OKST 31
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6
 
BOISE 52
UTAHST 21
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21
DUKE 16
MIA-FL 34
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9
 
OHIOST 21
MICH 10
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15
MINN 0
IOWA 12
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2
CHAT 0
ALA 45
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1
FIU 3
FLA 62
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24
MEM 14
HOU 55
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TCU 45
WYO 10
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19
AF 21
BYU 38
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18
UVA 21
CLEM 34
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WISC 31
NW 33
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25
 
RUT 13
SYR 31
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PSU 42
MSU 14
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16
NCSU 10
VATECH 38
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30
LSU 23
MISS 25
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23
SDSU 7
UTAH 38
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OREST 42
WASHST 10
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28
14
CAL 34
STAN 28
Final
 
3
KANSAS 20
TEX 51
Final
11
 
OREGON 44
ARI 41

From Our Editors

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Constantly updated with quick takes from the staff.

Jim Leavitt Bleeds For USF Football

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via blogs.tampabay.com

Jim Leavitt did not get into a fight in the middle of the Louisville/USF game. Well, he may have gotten into a fight in the middle of the Louisville/USF game. But that's not what left him bloody, because players are saying it is from headbutting a player during halftime, and a man who fought Jim Leavitt and lived would tell the world like someone fresh from a Sasquatch sighting.

"He was fired up. He grabbed somebody -- I think it was (walk-on linebacker ) LaDre Watkins," safety Nate Allen said. "He headbutted him and fell backwards. I couldn't help but laugh, because that's the best one I've seen. ... We were fired up about that one."

Excellent work influxing your team with energy, Coach Leavitt. It's a word if you say it is.

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Nate Robinson, The Wrong Basket, And The 2009 New York Knicks

At the end of the first quarter in today’s game between the Knicks and Nets, either Nate Robinson was feeling particularly whimsical, or he was really, really confused. And more to the point, if you heard "an NBA player shot on his own basket today," wouldn't you just assume it was someone on the Knicks? Just seems too perfect.

Watch, at the 20-second mark, as an NBA player shoots a three on his own basket:

The shot didn’t count, and Nate Robinson was just messing around, but as Kryptonate relayed afterward, Mike D’Antoni was not pleased:

“He was like, ‘What if it went in?’ " Robinson said. “I was like, ‘My bad.’ I waited [until] the buzzer went off. He talked to me about it…”

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LSU And Ole Miss: May God Have Mercy On Your Soul, Les Miles

Ole Miss just beat LSU 25-23, and we have one request after watching this: may Les Miles of LSU and Houston Nutt of Ole Miss be allowed them to coach in the same division for the rest of eternity. After the usual lunacy of an Ole Miss/LSU game--key trick plays, hard hitting, and gifted speedsters like Dexter McCluster flying all over the field--the coda of the game came down to your usual crazy-ass collection of risky coaching decisions and improbable chaos, the twin hallmarks of both Houston Nutt and Les Miles' careers.

After getting within two with 1:26 left, LSU had to go for two to tie. Why? Because Houston Nutt, possessed by the spirit of a mad antebellum-era riverboat Faro player, had already gone for two in the first half and missed it. LSU got a pass interference call on the first attempt, but then decided to pass from their own one, a failed attempt leaving them two points behind with 1:23 left and a long-shot onside attempt awaiting them.

A long-shot, of course, is what Les Miles calls "a retirement investment strategy." Thanks to Ole Miss failing to understand that they could touch a ball after ten yards without penalty, Brandon LaFell recovered the onside. Have no doubt: this was the worst onside kick coverage you will ever see. LaFell ran past Rebel kick teamers like a dog at a picnic stealing a pork chop off a grill. 

Then, as if we aren't far enough out on that long limb of absurdity: with his team Les Miles, on 4th and 26, had his quarterback throw short of the endzone with something like ten seconds or so on the clock. (The AP box score still doesn't have the yardage and clock down as of writing.) The catch is made with one second on the clock, and instead of running the field goal unit onto the field, LSU's Jordan Jefferson lines up and spikes the ball to completely explode LSU's last chance at a victory. 

If you watched this astonishing flaunting of logic, common sense, and football strategy, may God have mercy on your soul. And if you are Tracy Wolfson, you may have a sexual harassment suit on your hands, because Houston Nutt gets awfully affectionate after a win, something you found out the hard way today.

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All Aboard The Sooner Failwagon

The only thing that comes close to satisfying a Texas fan as much as a win by the Horns is a loss by Oklahoma. This has been true for more than one hundred years, but the tears of a Sooner may never have tasted better. For there is something uniquely magnificent about watching Bob Stoops fail.

And fail he is in 2009! Not only were the Sooners routed today, 41-13 by Texas Tech, but the loss was Oklahoma's fifth of the season -- the most since 1999, when OU went 7-5 during Bob Stoops' first season on the job. And if the indignity of an impending .500 season isn't enough, Mack Brown and the Longhorns are 10-0 with an inside track on the national title game.

Everyone endures struggles and Texas has certainly been on the other side of this particular story, but there may be no coach in the country as ugly as is Bob Stoops in the face of adversity. Oklahoma will be back, but in the meantime Texas fans will savor every minute of the misery.

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Ref Throws Flag, Hits Ole Miss Player In Unmentionables

An Ole Miss cornerback -- unfortunately I didn't catch which one, and neither has Twitter as of yet -- committed pass interference and was hit by a flag. No, really. The weighted flag hit him right in the groin, and he had to sit out the following play. Let the double-entendres fall like mana from Heaven!

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College Football, Out Of Context

An image from LSU coach Les Miles' halftime interview:

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Take a look at the cop over Miles' shoulder. "Is he using his interviewer as a prop? Why are his hands so large? His hand is twice as big as her face! And it...it looks like he has two left hands. Should I arrest him? Is that an arrestable offense? Ohhhh Lord. This job will be the end of me."

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Mallett, Keenum Pass For 5 TDs Apiece

A week after torching Troy for 405 yards and 5 TDs, Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett is at it again, slicing up Mississippi State for 310 yards and another 5 scores (1 INT) in a 42-21 victory. The two-week barrage raises his season total to 28 (against just 5 interceptions), but more importantly, after dropping consecutive October contests to Florida and Ole Miss, the Razorbacks head to Baton Rouge next weekend having scored 194 points over their past four games, all wins. Like Mallett, the team's top three receivers this season are just sophomores, but as Arkansas Expats points out, because the quarterback is a third-year sophomore (sitting out a year after transferring from Michigan), he is eligible to turn pro after this season. If he stays, Bobby Petrino's Razorbacks will be dangerous in next year's SEC West.

Not to be outdone, Houston quarterback Case Keenum continued his Heisman push with 5 touchdowns of his own, on 29-39 passing for 405 yards (0 turnovers), leading the Cougars to a 55-14 blowout of Memphis. Today's quintuplet gives the junior 16 over his last 4 games, and a nation-best 36 on the year, against just 6 INTs. With three games left -- versus Rice, the Conference USA championship game, and a bowl game -- Keenum should easily surpass 40 touchdowns and could challenge the 50 TD mark that led the nation a year ago. Thrown by... Sam Bradford, who won the Heisman Trophy.

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Thanks For The Memories, Duke Football

Well, Miami has smoked Duke's bowl (eligibility), and the Blue Devils will be left to watch other bowls on television like they have every year since 1994. On the bright side, a win over Wake Forest next week would give them the first winning record since the same year.

Beyond that, Duke gained a nationwide reputation for at least giving teams a scare. They carried a lead over No. 6 Virginia Tech into the second half, they jumped to an early 10-0 lead over No. 7 Georgia Tech, and on Saturday they led No. 20 Miami in the fourth quarter. Sure, they lost all of these games (the Georgia Tech game in spectacular fashion), but they became proficient at spooking their opponents. Duke is the Rob Zombie movie of football: they scare and intrigue you, only to make you wonder why all those nice people had to die.

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Clippers Announcers Risk Sparking International Incident, Are Suspended

Via Deadspin, we learn from the LA Times that Clippers broadcasters Ralph Lawler and Mike Smith have reportedly been suspended following remarks they made during Friday night's broadcast: In part:

Lawler: “Hamed Haddadi. Where’s he from?”

Smith: “He’s the first Iranian to play in the NBA.” (Smith pronounced Iranian as “Eye-ranian,” a pronunciation that offended the viewer who complained.)

[...] Lawler: “Wow. Haddadi – that’s H-A-D-D-A-D-I.”

Smith: “You’re sure it’s not Borat’s older brother?”

I'd guess that Lawler and Smith had no idea they were being offensive, but I figured we as a culture had moved past the "people from other countries have funny names!!!" trope. Oh well. While Lawler and Smith are suspended, they can at least rely on their other gig.

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Ole Miss Police Remove Klansmen From Campus

12 members of the KKK were removed from the Ole Miss campus today after a brief protest, according to the AP. Here's a picture of them.

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via www.ajc.com

Girlfriend, lemme tell you something. I don't care how many episodes of What Not To Wear you've seen, the truth that no matter how tight you cinch a belt around yourself, it's not going to make people think you have curves if they aren't there to begin with, sweetie. The black, however, is a slimming choice. See how skinny he looks compared to Mr. Stay-Puft there in the middle? Oh, and as for the Scarlet Pimpernel over there on the left? Red and green and you equals a Merry Hot-Mess-mas, sir.

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All Eyes On The Pac-10

Barring a stunning upset by Kansas over Texas that plunges the national title race into blinding chaos, today's slate of games would hold depressingly little intrigue if not for the riveting race for the Rose Bowl in... the nation's strongest conference this year? Considering the meager quality beneath the top two teams in the SEC and Big 12, if the deep well of solid-to-strong squads doesn't make the Pac-10 the nation's best conference, at the very least it makes it the most interesting.

Heading into today, six teams sit both at 7-3 or better overall, and 4-3 or better in Pac-10 play. Among those, four schools can still make the Rose Bowl: Oregon (8-2, 6-1), Stanford (7-3, 6-2), Oregon State (7-3, 5-2), and Arizona (6-3, 4-2). Here's how each can get there:

Oregon St: Beat Washington State (5 p.m. tonight) and Oregon; Arizona loses any of final three.

Arizona: Win out versus Oregon (8 p.m. tonight), ASU and USC.

Stanford: Beat Cal (7:30 p.m. tonight); Oregon State loses to Washington State, but beats Oregon.

Oregon: Beat Arizona (8 p.m.), beat Oregon St; or Lose to Arizona, beat Oregon State, with Stanford loss to Cal.

Whatever else you watch, tune in to tonight for Arizona-Oregon and Stanford-Cal, by far the day's best and most important matchups.

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Bill Simmons Is In Twitter Timeout

ESPN has suspended Bill Simmons, colloquially known as "Mr. Sports Individual," from tweeting (aside from comments pertinent to his book tour). This is the eventual fallout from a series of tweets Simmons made a few weeks ago in response to a Boston radio station that was critical of him. One of said tweets:

WEEI's "The Big Show" was apparently ripping me today. Good to get feedback from 2 washed-up athletes and a 60 yr-old fat guy with no neck.

It's tough for me to relate to Simmons, as I've never once been engaged in a feud of any sort with any other sports personality, ever. Then again, I've never been AM talk-radio fodder, and I suppose that if I were pressed, this is the exact sort of thing I would say in response. As an aside, I'm distressed by the news that one of the WEEI personalities doesn't have a neck. This carries serious medical implications, as the neck is responsible for providing blood supply to the head and directing oxygen to the respiratory system, among other functions. Can someone please call an ambulance on behalf of this gentleman?

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