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Around SBN: Spencer Hall's College Football Week 13 Alphabetical

Mon 8:30p EST

Final

GB 34

DET 12

Final

OAK 7

DAL 24

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NYG 6

DEN 26

Final

TB 17

ATL 20

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MIA 14

BUF 31

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CLE 7

CIN 16

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IND 35

HOU 27

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CAR 6

NYJ 17

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WAS 24

PHI 27

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SEA 27

STL 17

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KC 14

SD 43

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JAC 3

SF 20

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CHI 10

MIN 36

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ARI 17

TEN 20

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PIT 17

BAL 20

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TEX 49

TEXA&M 39

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RUT 34

LOU 14

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ILL 36

CIN 49

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2
34

ALA 26

AUBURN 21

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8
32

PITT 16

WVU 19

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NEVADA 33

BOISE 44

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UNC 27

NCSU 28

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CLEM 17

SC 34

Final

MISS 27

MISSST 41

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OKST 0

OKLA 27

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NM 10

TCU 51

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FLAST 10

FLA 37

Final

MIA-FL 31

SOFLA 10

Final

VATECH 42

UVA 13

Final

22
18

UTAH 23

BYU 26

Final

ARK 30

LSU 33

Final

UGA 30

GATECH 24

Final

RICE 14

HOU 73

Final

UCLA 7

USC 28

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From Our Editors

Constantly updated with quick takes from the staff.

Charlie Weis Fired, Bob Stoops Says 'No Thanks'

News of Notre Dame firing Charlie Weis broke just a couple of hours ago, which means it's time to start churning the rumor mill and take guesses at who might replace him in South Bend. The first to make it through to the other side of the message boards, 140-character speculations and public prognosticating is Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops, who is already saying "no."

I'm going to be at Oklahoma next year," he said. "If (athletic director) Joe (Castiglione) will have me and President (David) Boren, that's what I intend to do."

Speaking to reporters Monday afternoon, Stoops dispelled numerous reports that he would be the next coach at Notre Dame, but declined to comment on the nature or existence of his contact with school officials at the school in South Bend, Ind.

"I will never confirm or deny whether I talk or not talk to anybody, and I won't be interviewing for any jobs," he said.

Brian Kelly? Butch Davis? Who will be the next one to enter the Media Machine's Irish Circle of Conjecture and Gears of Gossip?

0 comments

by Ryan Hudson • Nov 30, 2009 4:31 PM EST

Bobby Bowden Announcement Expected Tuesday

An announcement regarding Bobby Bowden’s future is expected on Tuesday, and it could get very, very weird in Tallahassee between now and then. Bowden was quoted by ESPN.com on the decision to come back to Tallahassee in 2010:

“I make the decision,” Bowden said after the luncheon. “I make the decision.”

Saying it twice doesn’t mean he’s coming back, however. Bowden will have to accept a reduced role next to coach-in-waiting Jimbo Fisher, a phrase most likely meaning “I get to fire some of the dead weight you’ve been keeping on the coaching staff.”

If Bowden refuses to accept the terms, he’ll leave, and thus end the second-longest run in NCAA football coaching. As a Florida fan, let me just say I oppose this move, and repeat my stance that Bowden can stay as long as he likes, especially if he keeps losing to Florida.

by Spencer Hall • Nov 30, 2009 3:49 PM EST

What If A 'Shooter' Can't Shoot?

Buried in the rundown of last night’s Miami Heat loss was the following gem, from the Sun-Sentinel’s beat writer, Ira Wilderman:

When does Daequan Cook officially go from “shooter” to “misser”?

Seems simple enough, but so, so perfect. I underwent a similar transition when I graduated high school. The shooting touch faded, and before you knew it, gone was the three-point “specialist”, and suddenly I was a “glue guy” with a beer belly and a smoking habit. And a “high basketball IQ,” of course. There are just so many different ways to describe mediocrity!

And hey, this game’s fun. Let’s try it with some other NBA players:

When does Deshawn Stevenson stop being a “defensive stopper”, and start being “terrible” on both ends of the floor?

It applies to so many people:

When does Mo Williams go from “All-Star Mo Williams” to “man, wouldn’t it be cool if Lebron played with an all-star?”

And even teams:

When does Portland go from “up-and-coming” to “just not that great”?

Or how about Kevin Garnett?

When does Kevin Garnett officially go from “fiery and intense” to “INSUFFERABLLLLEEEEE”?

Okay, we should probably stop now. But man, this is fun. Thanks, Bullsblogger.

by Andrew Sharp • Nov 30, 2009 3:42 PM EST

Notre Dame Football Players: No Bowl Game

Somewhat lost in all this "Charlie Weis Fired" hullabaloo is that Notre Dame finished the year 6-6 -- bowl eligible. And with the way their fans normally travel, it was likely that the Irish would be headed to a respectable bowl game (the organizers of said bowl games like money, you see). Well, we can now expect those organizers to be disappointed.

ND football players reportedly vote against going to a bowl game

This will mark the second time in three years that Notre Dame has not appeared in a bowl game. For now, the Irish will have to remember the good ol' days of beating Hawaii in last year's Hawaiʻi Bowl.

0 comments

by Ryan Hudson • Nov 30, 2009 3:06 PM EST

The NBA: Where Hyperbole Happens

There are so many different worn out adjectives to describe particularly emphatic dunks. How many times can you stand up a yell, “Ooooo that was VICIOUS!” After a while, it gets repetitive.

But did you SEE the Paul Pierce this weekend? Even if you did, watch it again:

No figurative, hyperbolic description is even necessary. Paul Pierce literally kneed Chris Bosh in the nether regions while dunking on his head. God. Doesn’t get more vicious than that.

Now, then: commence with the hyperbole.

2 comments

by Andrew Sharp • Nov 30, 2009 12:03 PM EST

Derek Jeter Wins Sportsman Of The Year; Let The OUTRAGE Commence

SI announced today that Derek Jeter has been named the magazine’s Sportsman of the Year. This is a great honor that awards the recipient the distinction of having their face on the cover and a lifetime subscription to Sports Illustrated, which includes a free football phone and a Yankees World Series champion DVD.

In other words, this is largely a meaningless award that basically signifies that SI thinks Derek Jeter is swell … and perhaps — conspiracy theory! — they want to sell a few extra copies of the mag and stir up some debate. They’ve succeeded in doing the latter, as Twitter has been abuzz with ANGRY FANS who simply cannot believe the eternally overrated Jeter would win SI’s popularity contest. The SB Nation offices also devolved into an all-out slapfight over whether or not Jeter is the greatest team athlete of this era (ed. note: of course he’s not).

Walkoff Walk’s Rob Iracane summed up Jeter winning the award perfectly with two tweets:

Jeez, yet another Yankee wins Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year. Oh, this is the first time ever? Well done, Mr. Jeter. […]

The best player on the best team in the best sport has one of his best years in a great career and you are incredulous?

See, there it is: Sure, Jeter was probably not the single most spectacular athlete of 2009. But he had a great season and his team won a championship. It’s hard to argue that he’s undeserving. Plus, he really wanted that football phone.

4 comments

by Chris Mottram • Nov 30, 2009 11:40 AM EST

Brian Urlacher Not A Big Fan Of Bears' Jay Cutler-Led Offense

While you were watching football on the couch with friends, or perhaps traveling back from Thanksgiving vacation, Yahoo!‘s Michael Silver was busy being Brian Urlacher’s guest for a day of NFL viewing. This included watching the Bears-Vikings game. And many others from around the league. The entire column is worth a read to get the whole “injured player who can’t do anything to help his awful team” perspective, but this quote about Jay Cutler and the Bears offense really stands out:

“Look, I love Jay, and I understand he’s a great player who can take us a long way, and I still have faith in him,” Urlacher said. “But I hate the way our identity has changed. We used to establish the run and wear teams down and try not to make mistakes, and we’d rely on our defense to keep us in the game and make big plays to put us in position to win. Kyle Orton might not be the flashiest quarterback, but the guy is a winner, and that formula worked for us. I hate to say it, but that’s the truth.”

More importantly, Orton doesn’t throw many interceptions. He threw 12 all of last season and the Bears finished above .500. Cutler has already thrown 20 this year, and the Bears are on pace for a 6-win season.

by Chris Mottram • Nov 30, 2009 10:39 AM EST

You Will Not Hurt Joe Adams, Ever

Unless you read SB Nation’s “From Our Editors” section with religious dedication, you probably don’t remember the name Joe Adams. But as a refresher, he’s the Arkansas wide receiver who suffered a mild stroke earlier this year, and came back to the team within a few weeks.

I’m not a doctor, but jeez. That seems… dangerous, or something. And Saturday night in Baton Rouge, he had this happen:

And what happened afterward? He got up, laughed to his teammates, and three plays later, he caught a 4th down TD that gave Arkansas the lead with 1:25 left in the game. Sure, LSU came back to tie, and then win in overtime.

But that’s not the point. Joe Adams is downright INDESTRUCTIBLE, okay? Stop trying to knock him out, you stupid defenses or “mild strokes.” He’ll just get up, laugh, and catch touchdowns.

1 comment

by Andrew Sharp • Nov 30, 2009 10:06 AM EST

Ed Hochuli Nearly Has Another Ed Hochuli Moment Sunday Night

Al Michaels pointed this out last night, but it was after your bedtime, so you may have missed it. So, here's what went down.

With 13 seconds left in regulation and the Ravens tied with the Steelers at 17-all, Joe Flacco fumbled the ball forward from the Pittsburgh 42 to the 38, where it was recovered by Baltimore. Having burned all their timeouts, the Ravens ran the kicking team out onto the field and attempted a 56-yarder.

Luckily for Ed Hochuli, the kick came up short. Because here is the rule on fumbling inside of two-minutes:

If any player fumbles after the two-minute warning in a half, only the fumbling player is permitted to recover and/or advance the ball. If recovered by any other offensive player, the ball is dead at the spot of the fumble unless it is recovered behind the spot of the fumble.

In other words, the Ravens should have attempted that potential game-winning kick from where Flacco fumbled on the 42 ...

Not from where they recovered on the 38 ...

As Michaels said, had Billy Cundiff been able to put about three more yards on the kick, there would've been "hell to pay" this morning.

0 comments

by Chris Mottram • Nov 30, 2009 9:22 AM EST

The NBA Is Still Unclear On How The Twitter Works

Now, when I tell you that Amar'e Stoudamire and Tyson Chandler were both fined $7,500 Sunday by the NBA for tweeting during a game, your initial reaction is probably "Well, duh, what were they thinking?" But of course the beauty of Twitter is that you don't always have to post tweets yourself, they can be auto-fed or you can provide account access to another person who can update for you. Which is exactly what happened...

Chandler's feed was updated automatically while he just happened to be playing and an intern updated Stoudamire's feed while he was leading the Suns past the Grizzlies. Anyone with a basic understanding of how Twitter works would be able to deduce these instances quite easily. Alas...

My advice to the NBA? Hire a fifteen-year-old social media whiz to be your Twitter Czar. He'll be able to weed this stuff out easily so all parties can avoid embarrassment.

0 comments

by Sean Keeley • Nov 30, 2009 12:49 AM EST

God Favors The Alouettes, Montreal Wins Grey Cup

Damon Duval kicked a 33-yard field goal with no time left and the Montreal Alouettes won the CFL Grey Cup with a 28-27 victory over the Saskatchewan Roughriders on Sunday night. Duval credits the big Aloutette fan in the sky, not the late Saskatchewan penalty, for the victory:

"The man upstairs gave me a second opportunity," Duval said. "I got the ball through and what can I say, it was all these guys here just fighting back play after play. As soon as I saw the flag I didn't care, I had to focus on making a kick."

Like I've been saying for years, God loves Canadian football.

The best part of checking in on the CFL is always recognizing players from college football past that you forgot to wonder about. So congrats to former Mountaineer Avon Cobourne, Seminole Adrian McPherson, Gator Chris Leak and Orangeman Diamond Ferri on the big win.

1 comment

by Sean Keeley • Nov 29, 2009 11:57 PM EST

Vince Young Is Officially Back

Leading the Titans to four straight wins wasn't quite enough. There was still room for debate. Now, no: Vince Young's 99-yard drive vs. the Cardinals -- capped off by a game-winning touchdown pass as time expired -- officially puts Young's career back in the black.

Music City Miracles, as you might imagine, is appropriately excited: