Pussycat Dolls, Mike Tyson Root for Klitschko

Man, going into his heavyweight title fight with Vitali Klitschko Saturday night in Berlin, Sam Peter must have been wondering if his presence was even required in the arena.

First of all, he was fighting a Klitschko brother in the Klitschkos’ adopted home city. Second of all, the entire pre-fight ceremony was one long love letter to Vitali’s comeback to the ring including an appearance by the Pussycat Dolls in leather cat-suits and then, most bizarrely, a holographic tribute to Vitali by five former heavyweight champions that was straight out of the scenes from Krypton in the first Superman movie.

Set in alternating rows while a solemn (and gigantic) bell tolled, first George Foreman (or Foreman’s holograph) urged Vitali to be successful in his comeback to the ring despite his age (37). Then Joe Frazier told Vitali ... actually I have no idea what Frazier said. Smokin’ Joe, God love him, is not making a hell of a lot of sense these days.

Lennox Lewis was next, referencing his great (or in my estimation, okay) fight with Vitali back in 2003, and then came Evander Holyfield, telling Vitali that comebacks are always possible no matter what anyone says. Finally, and most surprisingly, came a very fat (George Foreman fat) Mike Tyson. Drawing the loudest cheers, and wearing an expression on his face that said, “I’m getting paid for this, right?” Tyson blankly uttered these words:

“Vitali, I’ve always been a fan of yours and finally you are back. Now go out there and have a great fight.”

I wonder if Mike even stuck around to watch the fight. Something tells me come the third round, he was already on an airplane to Vegas. Meanwhile, in the midst of this interminable encomium to the greater glory of Vitali, there’s Sam Peter in his dressing room looking around thinking, “yo, can a brother get a lapdance over here or what?”

He lost, by the way, Big Sam, retired on his stool after the eighth round. Some say he died of a broken heart.

(Check out my full re-cap of the fight over at No Mas.)

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.