Barack Obama, the United States' President-elect, favors a college football playoff. This means nothing, since ultimately the President has little to do with how the BCS works, and because he went to a combination of Occidental College, Columbia University and Harvard University. Collectively, the three schools have as much to do with the BCS as Beano Cook has to do with renegotiating WTO trade agreements. This is to say that he has nothing to do with it, and nothing will change because of him. (Now, if we'd elected Beano president, now we're talking about change we could believe in here. He'd also appoint Ron Pawlus as Secretary of State. No one's perfect.)â†µ
Barack will ask, negotiate, and cajole. However, other world leaders have distinctly different tacks on this BCS matter.â†µ
Nicolas Sarkozy, President of France. "I weel prezehnt you with mah beautifool wife Car-lah Bru-knee, who weel have you eating ze foie gras from her hahnd before you announce ze first playoffs, commencing immediately. Seriously, zees whole thing iz an excuse to show you mah hot wahfe, who is compleetely smo-keeng in evree sense of ze word."â†µ
Vladimir Putin, Prime Minister of Russia. "I will first place the heads of every major conference member into a crippling judo submission hold until they yielded. Then, my pet tiger would dispose ... er, I mean, cuddle with them.â†µ
Kim Jong-Il, ‘Dear Leader’ of North Korea. "The teams will parade for my pleasure in unison. Each team must bring 14,000 litres of high-grade cognac for admission. Please, I don't care what happens, someone please, please bring me some cognac. Also, please do not talk or look at anyone or you will be shot."â†µ
Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada. "I'd widen the field to a civilized 110 by 65 yards, of course. Canada: we're sitting right here politely just waiting to help."â†µ
Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany. "Germany is fine with whatever happens with the BCS as long as there is no inappropriate touching of any kind."â†µ
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