British Papers Are Fair, Balanced

We have a very different conception of journalism than the British. This is not an entirely bad thing. We have standards and facts, and they have exposed female breasts on page three. As with all things in life, there are trade-offs.

Just like being a gay gigolo third division soccer player, for example. You may be a minor leaguer in the world of European soccer, yes, but you also get to claim you've had sex with 12 top-flight players, get your name in the Daily Mail, and then not name names while insisting it was "more than kissing." So your career as a soccer player may be flagging, but you may have found your calling as an indiscreet male prostitute. Give, take.

You also get to help the Daily Mail post not one, but two pictures of David Beckham in an article about allegedly gay soccer players. Not because Beckham's gay -- no, no, no, that's not the implication at all! How dare you say such a thing! No, it's because he plays in Milan, which is in Italy, which is where Beckham will play on a 10 week loan from the LA Galaxy this winter, and since Beckham is a gay icon who happens to be straight, they just thought he'd be appreciated, that's all.

Not because the Daily Mail's implying he's gay. Now that, sir, would be going too far.

(See also: With Leather, Deuce of Davenport)

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.