Updated throughout the day with quick takes from staff.
And this, friends, is why I don’t eat fruits or vegetables: Aside from not tasting like beef, they’re extremely dangerous, as Derrick Rose found out the hard way:
Rose missed Monday’s practice after he needed 10 stitches to close a gash suffered when he said he rolled onto a knife while eating an apple in bed.So. Many. Questions. Don’t know where to start. Why is a man who only eats a steady diet of candy and sweets eating an apple? Was it covered in caramel? And why would he be carving it in bed? Or carving it at all? Just pick that thing up and eat it. It’s an apple, dude, not a turkey. And bottled water? Really? Mr. Fancypants Big Time Baller too good for the tap? Elitist."It was a silly incident," Rose said. "I was cutting up some food and I laid on a knife getting lazy in bed. I went to go get a bottle of water, came back, forgot the knife was there, then sat down and sliced my arm.”
Oh, in case you’re wondering, Rose is fine and the team expects to have him back in time for tomorrow’s game against the Knicks. In the meantime, they have overnighted him a box of Snickers and a bottle of Vermont Maple Syrup.
(H/T: Mouthpiece Sports)
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
2 comments
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
Scoreboard data copyright © 2012 by STATS LLC. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of STATS LLC is strictly prohibited.
OpenCalais - Powered by Thomson Reuters
•
Odds Shark 
Comments
Is "carving apples" a new metaphor for oral sex?
by L'etat, c'est moi on Dec 8, 2008 6:22 PM EST reply actions
I am glad it was an apple and not a bananna! Think of the consequences if he really wasn’t paying attention!
by kwhy8strm on Dec 9, 2008 4:26 PM EST reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed