NFL Experience Offers Variety of Boring Activities

By Chris Mottram

Chris will be blogging from somewhere in Arizona all week where apparently a game is happening. He promises to not once mention anything that might actually occur on the field of play.

Trust me, the NFL Experience is not worth the price of admission. And I got in for free.

There were, however, a countless number of people -- literally, I mean countless; the line wrapped up and down an entire street four times -- waiting in line just for the right to buy tickets. Once they forked over $17 per ticket, they then waited in another line -- which wasn't quite as long, yet still ridiculous -- while everyone was checked for bombs and narcotics.

Once inside you have about five options: Measure you various body parts to those of NFL players ("Experience" the humiliation!), attempt to kick/throw football through/at various targets, enjoy the right to overpay for official NFL merchandise in the official NFL store, stick your head on the body of a mannequin dressed in your favorite team's jersey, or wait in line for 90 minutes to get a popular player's autograph.

Seeing as I was with a huge collector, we absolutely had to do the autograph line, sponsored by Air Force. There were three guys signing: Braylon Edwards, Chad Johnson, and Alex Smith (the white quarterback, not to be confused with the black tight end). I had no interest in watching (mostly) grown men wait in line for autographs, so I meandered around.

I ended up having a conversation with a lovely woman from New England who -- and I think she's onto something -- thinks the NFL is fixed because the Pats just win too easily; I saw a fat man fall down the stairs while exiting the "measure you leg to a lineman's" tent; and I came across Alex Smith's wife, who was floating around near his autograph tent, which was the highlight of the Experience:

[img=http://i.tsn.com/i/photos/20080201/86206.jpg]

Of course, you must understand that I'm coming at this from a 25 year-old's perspective. I'm sure kids were enjoying it. I actually saw more of them smiling than crying, although both were prominent. And with superstars like these guys coming by, what's not to love?:

[img=http://i.tsn.com/i/photos/20080201/86205.jpg]

That's quite an exciting list, but really, Sage Rosenfels takes the cake. Seriously, see if you can even pick him out of a line-up of back-up quarterbacks. If you can, you win the free carabiner that the Air Force was giving away to 17-27 year-old's simply for signing their life away.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.