Sonics Owner Cherishes All That Is Stern

Quick playoff race recap: Dallas definitely in, Utah losing on the road at the buzzer proves they're competitive away from SLC, Dubs probably out, Nuggets' fortunes hinge on J.R. Smith.



But what's really good, what has the entire NBA world abuzz, is the fawning, two-faced email Clay Bennett sent Stern in the wake of Aubrey-gate. Yesterday, the Seattle Times provided us with some damning evidence against the Okie ownership. This time, it's personal. Come with me, as we laugh at Clay Bennett's overripe feelings for David Stern:

David you know how I feel about our relationship both personally and professionally. You are among a very few, notwithstanding our relative brief actual physical time together that have significantly affected my life. I view you as a role model as an extraordinarily gifted executive, a deep and compassionate thinker, and a person with a rare and unique charisma that brings out the best in everyone you touch. You are just one of my favorite people on earth and I so cherish our relationship Sonics business aside. I would never breach your trust.

[Sic], [sic], and [double-sic]. Look, this isn't great stuff because it's earnest and encourages lazy Brokeback Mountain jokes. If this were written by someone who weren't a pompous ass, who hadn't infuriates thousands and thousands of people in Seattle and elsewhere, this email would just be some very sincere man-talk. However, it's not. It's Clay Bennett, which makes it some combination of pathetic and demonic.

Later in the message, Bennett gets equally sentimental about trying hard, and "aspir[ing] to be a GREAT owner." For a second, I thought maybe he was human after all. I felt my eyes well up a little. Then I realized that actually, I was puking in the back of my throat, and it was starting to come out of my nose.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.