Ref Bribery Doesn't Get Ya What It Used To

Good bribery doesn't go as far as it used to, and look no further than the murky world of South American soccer for evidence of those diminishing returns.

See, the Uruguayans allegedly decided waiting on the talent of the players to determine the outcome of their next match against Chile was too risky. So they did what you would do, naturally: they bought a form of insurance against potential loss.

Where your strategy and their differ: you go to Geico (That gecko! He's so cute!), and they (allegedly!) buy a prostitute for the ref.

Argentine referee Sergio Pezzotta says a press report that the Uruguayan FA hired him a prostitute in return for 'good decisions' in last year's game against Chile are 'bad-taste lies'. The reports claimed the woman 'serviced the official' - but that afterwards Pezzotta decided against favouring the Uruguayans, leaving the FA 'enraged'. 'It surprises me,' says Pezzotta. 'Clearly certain people want to cause untold damage.' 'This is entirely unfounded,' say the FA, who have set up a commission to investigate the claims. 'These reports damage our dignity.'

Are you sure that's only a yellow card, ref? (Wink wink, nudge nudge.)

Accuse Pezzotta of going back on a shady deal, or of conveniently developing a conscience after his "service" had been completed, but know that he's not to blame. He knew the whole thing was a set up, but he really thought she liked him! Really, he did! She even left this number and everything, and even though it didn't work, it's probably because she's having the line worked on...or something like that.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.