'Law & Order' Portrays Brady as Gay, Murderous

I’ve never been one to watch 'Law and Order,' but I had friends in college who would watch it for, like, five hours in a row (totally sober, of couse). I never understood the obsession, but had I known it was a comedy, I may have hopped aboard the bandwagon. On Tuesday night’s “Special Victim’s Unit” there was a central character who sounds awfully similar to Tom Brady, but more, um, effeminate, if that’s possible:

In an episode titled “The Closet,” a pro football player who wears No. 12, has a cleft chin and a supermodel galpal, plays in a red-and-blue stadium and is “the best quarterback in football” is the prime suspect in a gay murder.

Any resemblance to any New England Patriots QB is, we’re sure, entirely intentional!

Yes, any resemblance to Brady was “entirely intentional,” including the fact that the character -- named Lincoln Haver and played by soap actor Bailey Chase -- was a closet homosexual. The only thing I take issue with is that the Brady-like character had a “cleft chin.” Everyone knows Tom Tom has a chin dimple, which is the epicenter of the same seductiveness that allows Brady to lure in supermodels and farm animals alike.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.