God Has Vested Interest in Youth Athletics

Little League baseball must be too evil, or at least, not Jesus-y enough for one Florida man who has created the Christian Little League. Not surprisingly, Little League is suing the man, Jay Kaplan, for trademark violation because, well, all he did was take “Little League” – a trademarked name – and add “Christian” in front of it.

Unfortunately for Little League, however, the courts are not big enough to contain such a lawsuit. No friends, this one will be decided in God’s court of law!:

"GOD is the ultimate judge and has the final say," [Kapan] wrote in a March 15 letter to Little League's lawyers.

Before filing suit Thursday, the organization's lawyers contacted Kaplan in a March 7 letter demanding that he stop using the Little League tag. The similar names could mislead and confuse the public by suggesting an affiliation between the groups, the lawyers wrote.

Kaplan responded with a four-page letter declaring only God could judge the dispute.

"Christian Little League was GOD's idea and it is a great and wonderful idea," wrote Kaplan, who grew up Jewish and converted to Christianity. "I have no plans on changing the name GOD gave me."

So what’s the real difference between the Christian league and the Jesus-hating league? Well, Christian Little League is “where family and friends are more important than winning and there are no losers!!!” Yes, no losers at all. Until you look at the league standings, of course, and you see that team St. John is in second place, with a 1-2 record. Which is also dead last because the league only has two teams.

(Story first seen on Colbert Report last night, which, not surprisingly, had a much funnier take on this.)

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.