The Enumerative: Wimbledon Iz Gangsta

1. Strawberries and Cream. At the Championships, 28,000 kilos of strawberries and 7,000 liters of cream are consumed by spectators every year (this translates to “a lot” in American). It's just the kind of dish that, with a generous helping of champagne, will convince your girl that I am a man of taste, wealth, power, and refinement. Like Ludacris says, "Eatin' fresh fruit, sweep your woman right offa her feet."

2. Wearing All White. As long as it’s within the bounds of Memorial and Labor Day, it doesn’t get much mo’ gangsta than rockin’ all white. Just ask the late Pimp C. When you can couple that with a cardigan featuring your own moniker and an oversized man purse, then you’ve really got some gangsterific, blatant disregard for authority. Not to mention being completely unfazed by the imminent threat of grass stains. 

3. Roger Federer. Federer has won Wimbledon five times, and in each he behaved with the icy cool demeanor of a hit man: silent, efficient, and running game with fluency, son. He's like Don Cheadle in Out of Sight. He shivs you and walks away like it's just another day. 

4. The Cup. The men’s singles winner takes home the silver guilt cup, otherwise known in the tennis game as a 19-inch pimp chalice. It features the most gangsta inscription in sport: “The All England Lawn Tennis Club Single Handed Champion of the World.” In other words, as Lil Weezy once said: The Best [tennis player] Alive/Swagger right, game tight/And they gon R-E-S-P-E-C-T me.”

5. Extravagance. The gorgeous, sumptuous centre court, with lush green grass hand-groomed to perfection by a small battalion of greenskeepers, huge seating, and mathematically perfect lines, is only used two weeks a year. Manny Fresh: "Homey what's your bank count? Birdman: "Dog I done been lost count." Yeah, it’s kinda like that.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.