Nothing Motivates a Woman Like an Ugly Outfit

You only had two matches to witness Maria Sharapova’s incredibly unattractive outfit at Wimbledon this year, so in case you missed it, here ya go:

Four seasons of watching Project Runway officially makes me a fashion police deputy, so I can say with some confidence that the tuxedo tank top whateverthehellthatis with the dude shorts was a bad choice. Unfortunately for The Pova, I’m not the only one who thought she failed to make it work. Her opponent yesterday, 154th ranked Alla Kudryavtseva, also hated it:

Maria Sharapova remembered to pack the designer jacket and the shorts she knew would make her the centre of attention at Wimbledon. She just forgot to pack her talent.

[…]

Kudryavtseva, who is not one of the glamour girls of tennis, said that Sharapova’s status as a fashion icon had got under her skin. “It’s very pleasant to beat Maria,” she said. “I don’t like her outfit. Can I put it this way? It was one of my motivations to beat her.”

Oh, buuuurrrrn. “She forgot to pack her talent.” Snaps! You could also say, perhaps, that she was “all dressed up with nowhere to go, but back home.” Oh, wait, the Times made that horrible joke too. Well, they’ve really left me with nothing here. The British and their catty, middle school girl style of writing win again!

And I wonder if a fashion faux pas is why Janko Tipsarevic beat Andy Roddick yesterday as well. I mean, Roddick’s been wearing that same, tired LaCoste hat for, like, five years now. He looks so ridiculous! OMGZ, all it’s got him is a supermodel fiancé. What a loser.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.