Cristiano Ronaldo and His Fashionable Euro Fauxhawk Mullet Are Ready to Leave Man U

Manchester United's Cristiano Ronaldo, who before this championship season made his name on his phenomenal talent and his beautiful swan dives whenever insects brushed his tender skin on the soccer pitch, is about to do what people do best: make the same mistake others have made without heeding warnings, the example of history, and common sense.

Ronaldo has all but signed off on leaving Manchester United for somewhere else within the next year, a logical move if you hate being universally adored, well-paid, and well-positioned to play for championships for the next 10 years. Real Madrid, the Yankees of international soccer ("we don't make talent, we buy it!",) have not ruled out a bid for Ronaldo this year; however, given the current contract situation, the Glazers will not let the striker go, insisting he finish another year with Man U.

This cooks up a big bowl of angry stew for Man U, potentially: Cristiano Ronaldo playing a contract year under the microscope of the British press, further drama for Alex Ferguson to handle on the squad, and more meddling from agents and clubs seeking to put the world's most valuable player in their kit for 2009.

Worse still, Spain is where players at the peak of their value go to get injured and hopelessly distracted -- or at least this seems to be what happened to Ronaldo (the fat Brazilian one) and David Beckham. They're not to blame, either: If I were 23 and lolling in cash in Spain, things would get out of hand, too.

Whatever happens, though, I expect the British press to exercise their traditional restraint and taste in reporting on the matter, especially in regards to their private lives. Cheers, boys! Should be fun.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.