SEC Media Days: Polite Gentlemen

It's quiet...too quiet. No subpoenas today, no jabs at other coaches...even questions about the Atlanta Falcons fiasco can't rile Bobby Petrino. I'm craving Spurrier's appearance if only because he's our last and best hope for a bomb thrown in the form of a jab at another coach, complaints about the rules, or the league itself. Only the mention of Steve Kragthorpe's complaints of "inheriting discipline problems" at Louisville draws the quick strike from Petrino.

"They inherited a team with 21 returning starters. I feel good about the way we left that program."

...and only won six games. On second thought, someone did get served today.

Some traditions remain. Like the official potato chips of the conference, as evidenced by the free lunch's potato chip option.

Hey, they were good enough for the Bear, so they're good enough for you.

Petrino did stay absolutely cool during a fairly rough Q and A session, at least by softball-question standards. Questions about his commitment, the Falcons situation, his integrity, and his general worth as a human being failed to ruffle him in the least. Now, he could go out and start kicking puppies after this, but for the moment there's not even a raised blood vessel on his forehead. (If he does go on a puppy-kicking spree, we'll get footage. Promise.)

Pat Forde of ESPN's hair is a marvel of modern colloid/gel technology. Perfectly in place, and we'd bet it has a wind resistance rating somewhere above industrial siding but just below "Kiper." Someone in Bristol has a patent on sprayable, transparent kevlar. Should a gunfight breakout, run for the makeup kit at the ESPN room and spray yourself with the first aerosol can you can find. It's really your best bet besides hiding behind Sen'Derrick Marks.

"It does include the NFL." Rich Brooks, when asked if his statement that "The SEC is the most competitive league I've been in" included the NFL.

Tommy Tuberville continued the Lord of the Manor routine by smoothly and confidently dispatching every question thrown his way. When/if he decides to leave coaching, ESPN's got the check written out to him. Hopefully he can pair with Holtz to balance out the spazzy brilliance of Holtz's performance art with some batter-fried Arkansas smooth. All Mark May seems to do with Holtz is stare in stunned silence most of the time; Tuberville would probably keep his composure even if Holtz came on the set wearing nothing but a whistle.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.