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Which university is most brahsome? What fine institute of higher learning bears the greenest grass not from the expensive landscaping paid for by private tuition, but from the nutrients regurgitated onto it by overly zealous undergraduate bar-surfers? What school truly es mas borracho de mas borracho?
Go projective vomit a six-pack into a bougainvillea bush, Gator Nation. The party school crown, for this year, is yours, Florida. Gator undergrads ranked number one in filling the stadium for football games, reported the fewest hours studied a day, and ranked seventh in overall beer consumption. This served as a cocktail of factors that added up to a number one ranking for my alma mater, unseating West Virginia University for the top spot and trumping other venerable tipsy institutions of learning like Ohio University, Florida State University, and Arizona State University.
The cause in Florida's precipitous rise in the standings? How about a pinheaded administration doing just what will encourage binge drinking among students: telling them not to drink, fall out of dorm windows, and generally behave like they're playing a game of Pinocchio goes to Donkey Island.
UF was ranked No. 4 in the party rankings released in 2007, No. 11 in 2006 and No. 18 in 2005. The rise roughly coincides with Machen’s tenure and push to reduce binge and underage drinking among students.Remember one key thing: college students are inveterate smartasses, and this is yet another example of the kind of backwards thinking savvy university administration needs to employ. Why, just look at BYU! You hear "Brigham Young University," and you think one thing and one thing only: beer bongs. And yet there they are, holding down the "Most Sober School" title for the umpteenth year in a row. See? Reverse psychology, Gators. That's what it's gonna take to bring down the party rep at the school. Oh, and turning down the temperature about fifteen degrees year round would help, too. When I was there, I was hammered at least half of the time just trying to stay cool and dull the pain of living in a sauna filled with huge insects and snakes. If you can do that, too, you'll be on track in no time. Get to it!
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
6 comments
Comments
It’s good to know that alums from two of these top five schools contribute to TSB. That’s a solid ratio.
by littmann.tsn on Jul 28, 2008 5:26 PM EDT reply actions
Ouch. That stings a bit losing that top spot.
by lgmountaineers on Jul 28, 2008 6:06 PM EDT reply actions
There’s nothing else to do but drink in West Virginia. Florida taking the crown away is HUGE!!
by Tileking59 on Jul 28, 2008 6:49 PM EDT reply actions
I would comment, but I’m too busy draining jager bombs to do it properly.
by shall.tsn on Jul 28, 2008 10:48 PM EDT reply actions
Hell yeah…it is hot as balls down here. One must use all necessary resources to cool oneself down. After all, we do manufacture all the bugs and humidity to supply the rest of the world. Besides, what was the Mormon Prez. thinking when he decided to come to the state that created Margaritaville…I’m just saying. Not to mention, with the stadium packed, I do not feel bad to man the tailgate after all, there is food, booze and two satellite enabled flat screens with games (one being he Gators of course). So, if you must call this sauna home…why not have a house party!
P.S. I didn’t even touch on Hurricane Season and the parties it induces. Bring on the wind and rain, the grill is ready and it is party time!
by jauxpa on Jul 29, 2008 10:38 AM EDT reply actions
OSU has always been the biggest party school
sometimes it comes at a price…
They’ve had to change some things because of how bad it really got towards the late 90’s….
I remember being able to walk past cops with open fifths of liquor…literally drinking them as you crossed the street.
I’m glad they cleaned things up a bit but I still think OSU is the biggest party school.
Gainesville….What’s there to do in Gainesville?
copy and paste this(I’m not necessarily proud of it) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2VhXvvZekU
by buckifreak on Aug 1, 2008 10:59 AM EDT reply actions
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