If China Says They're 16, Then They Must Be

The International Olympic Committee, on the heels of some new documentation unearthed by a hacker in Canada, decided to investigate the ages of three of the female Chinese athletes. About 12 hours later, they are ready to rule. The verdict: Nothing to see here, stupid Americans. ↵

↵IOC spokeswoman Giselle Davies had this to say: ↵

↵
↵⇥"We believe the matter will be put to rest and there's no question ... on the eligibility. The information we have received seems satisfactory in terms of the correct documentation -- including birth certificates." ↵
↵Oh, well, in that case, pardon us for ever bringing up the topic. Sure, the girls look 12, but as the Chinese coach Lu Shanzhen put it, it’s simply a matter of race: "Chinese competitors have for years all been small. It is not just this time. It is a question of race. European and American athletes are all powerful, very robust.” Sure, the Chinese girls are small, but so is Verne Troyer – he still looks 40 in the face, though. (Although, us Americans are quite powerful and robust, aren’t we? Wait, are you calling us fat?) ↵

↵But coach Lu wasn’t finished. ↵

↵
↵⇥"Surely it's not possible that these documents are still not sufficient proof of her birthdate?" Lu asked. "The passports were issued by the Chinese Foreign Ministry. The identity card was issued by China's Ministry of Public Security. If these valid documents are not enough to clarify this problem, then what will you believe? ↵⇥

↵⇥"If you trust every Web site but not a government ... There are so many Web sites, so much hearsay," Lu said. "These are not official. It is possible that all news on the Internet is accurate?" ↵⇥

↵
↵Well, Lu, seeing as it’s impossible that any branch of China’s government would forge such documents, I guess there’s only one thing that will make me believe: Cut off their legs and count the rings, as Mr. Ziller so aptly pointed out a couple weeks ago. ↵

↵But there is just one more thing, Lu. The documents which suggested that double gold medalist He Kexin was under 16 came from China’s state run newspaper, and then mysteriously disappeared once the AP brought them to light. But yeah, you’re right, we should trust the Chinese Foreign Ministry over the internet. ↵

↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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