Channing Frye Has Excellent Olympic Ideas

If Belgian waffler Jacques Rogge does indeed step down as the czar of the Olympics soon, we should start a drive to get Portland TrailBlazer forward Channing Frye appointed. Via Deadspin, Frye -- a vastly underrated blogger -- offers a key view into his IOC platform.

I just finished watching what I consider a total waste of time: speed walking. Speed walking is easily the most useless sport I’ve ever seen in my life. I’d much rather see any other sport – handball, badminton, or water polo. It is terrible and by far the most boring.

For the betterment of the Olympic Games, we should have replaced that with either dodge ball or Olympic horseshoes or maybe even a game of Olympic tag with teams of 5 people. ... One of my friends suggested drinking games to see which country can out-drink the others.

(Kyle Orton, gold medalist. Sounds nice.) Ignore the redundancy in calling for both horseshoes and drinking games -- everyone who has ever played horseshoes knows it is a drinking game. The result of the addition plank is brilliant, though.

I mean, Olympic tag. Think about the level of strategy needed. Obviously, Jamaica goes for pure speed with Usain Bolt and Asafa Powell. Kenya might focus on endurance runners who would just tire the other team out. The United States performed marvelously in fencing: plenty of dodging involved there.

China could just repurpose its women's gymnastics team; no opponent would be able to spot them if they all wore camo. Cuba could intimidate the competition with its loose cannon taekwondo master. The Argentines just need favorable refs, like the ones they paid off had in the semifinal match against Brazil. Really, the possibilities are simply endless.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.