YouTubery: Starter, The Pre-Wal Mart Days

As far as sports gear goes, I never wore Starter. Revise that last statement: As far as sports gear goes, I don't, because I'm an adult, and nothing lacks dignity like a grown man wearing a Starter cap or team jersey.

Why I didn't is beyond me, though. If I'd been paying attention and seen the dope commercials they were dropping in '92, I'd have been decked out head to toe in Starter gear. THEY HAD CELEBRITIES, YO!!!
Corbin Bernsen, is that you winking ... at me? Little old me? (Blushing!) Wow, that makes me want to rush out and purchase a puffy, nearly useless $165 team jacket! Right now! And Brooke Shields? Cam Neely? THE Malcolm Jamal-Warner? Clearly the most impressive selection of celebrities one could assemble at any point in human history. Were it not for Brooke Shields now shilling for more upscale Volkswagen, it is very likely you could assemble the same crew today and get MC Hammer at no extra cost for exactly the same amount of money. Hammer would even throw in a "rap" for free. You wouldn't use it, but he'd offer, because he's just a pro like that.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.