The Last of the Famous International Undefeated Playboy Teams

My favorite guys in the universe are those who, after any major upset, walk into their workplace, home or prison shower bellowing about "Nooo, only I saw this coming from miles away." The conversation you had with this person before the game usually runs like this in real life:

You: So, what do you think about the Oregon State/USC game?

Them: You never know. It could be closer than you think. (They sip their beer quietly.)

Then, after the upset, they seem to remember the conversation has having gone something like this:

You: So, what do you think about the Oregon State/USC game? Because I think USC's gonna win by five hundred points!

Them: You're totally wrong! Oregon State is going to win, 27-21! (They flex their huge muscles, stroke their manly beard, and then rip off a huge guitar solo for the ladies RIGHT THERE IN THE BAR.)

Then they inevitably tell you about how awesome it is to be that right; and how right after they gave you the prediction, they took home the three hottest women in the bar, made an epic stock trade for billions on the way home, then spent the rest of the night partying Russell Brand-style in their posh hilltop mansion.

None of which explains why they came to work in the same old Kia in which they always drive to work, or why they'll be eerily silent when their "can't-miss" pick of Illinois over Penn State fizzles without a peep for them, because really we're all guessing to some extent or another, and Sir Rightpoints can’t accept it. (Admittedly, though, some of us are guessing more effectively than others.)

It does explain why, though, we should go ahead and look at the remaining top five ranked undefeated contenders (per last week's polls) and point out their likely trap games before Captain Nimrod (or whatever you care to call your obnoxious front-running friend) claims bogus psychic powers and beats you to the punch.

Penn State: The undefeated Lions face any number of landmines between now and the end of the season. This weekend's Illinois team is a suspect, since being a Ron Zook team means winning the games you shouldn't while dropping the gimmes from time to time. (Hey! Just like USC!) So are Michigan State and Ohio State, for that matter; the Spartans in particular could nip up and COME TO PENN SCHTATE and help the JoePa replay the one-loss scenario of 2005 thanks to the merciless running of Javon Ringer.

Oklahoma: Consider the weirdness of Oklahoma losing in Colorado last year after holding a late 24-7 lead. Now consider the wide-open frontier shootouts that have been known to break out in the conference where not one but two mascots actually carry guns. (And we're not counting the Ruf-Neks of Oklahoma, who carry ceremonial shotguns".)

The Sooners play four teams loaded with volatile, fissile material capable of going critical at any second: Oklahoma State, Kansas, Texas Tech and Texas. Any of the four could end Sooner perfection in a blaze of points and Sooner mistakes. (And like any team, there will mistakes.)

Georgia. Pick any week on the schedule not featuring ... well, I was going to say Vandy here, but Vandy sits at 4-0 right now, and almost deserves their own entry here. (Almost.) Maintaining consistency through a schedule featuring LSU in Baton Rouge, Florida at the Cocktail Party, Alabama, Auburn at Jordan-Hare, and finishing up with an in-rhythm and clicking Paul Johnson option team? Difficult is a kind word for what that task is.

To say they could lose any week is no slight on UGA, but is instead a compliment to the tenacity of the conference from top to bottom. (Only Kentucky oozes pushover, and that's just due to the new quarterback -- the Wildcats' defense is vastly improved from previous models, especially along the defensive line.)

(Remember, though: if UGA somehow lost to Kentucky, it would be "conference parity;" when USC loses to Oregon State, it's testimony to "the weak Pac-10." The East Coast Bias lives, but only if you feed it properly!)

Florida. Barring the patented "Houston Nutt Moonshot Game" this weekend (the game where a Houston Nutt-coached team plays a full grade above its talent level and torches an unsuspecting ranked team), Florida's next best chance to lose is when LSU comes into town with el monstro running back Charles Scott, who would like to go that way toward the goalpost and does not want to trifle with your pesky "tackling." Throw in the Cocktail Party against UGA, and a loss in either would not shock Gator fans still waiting to see a complete performance by a still-maturing Gator team.

Missouri: Any week, but for vastly different reasons. The Missouri defense, conveniently hidden by the radioactive glow of the Missouri offense and their nuclear stockpiles of points, is allowing 378.5 yards a game, ahead of only the miserable Texas A&M D for yards allowed thus far in the Big 12. Nebraska might go down next weekend, but the Tigers’ next opponent is Oklahoma State, whose Gundy-led men sneeze and score FORTY points with ease.

Texas and Kansas loom behind the Cowboys in the schedule, and those three games are the most likely to turn into shootouts Mizzou may not win In a gunfight, someone's gotta run out bullets first, and it isn't always the other guy who hears the dreaded click of an empty gun barrel.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.