Armstrong at His Weakest Is Still a Sex God

Lance Armstrong's post-cycling career has been impressive; he's run a marathon, appeared on Oprah, raised money for cancer, and dated an Olsen twin. Most of us don't compile a resume that impressive in a lifetime, much less in our post-retirement career.

His latest accomplishment: divulging too much information about his love life in the latest edition of Men's Journal, which you may find on newstands by looking for a picture of Lance and bold headlines like "BLAST AWAY 40 POUNDS IN EIGHT MINUTES" and "SEXO EXTREMO: MAKE HER WISH SHE'D NEVER MET YOU, BUT IN A GOOD WAY!!!" Here's Lance being gross and bragging about how, even during the ravages of the Tour de France, he was still a first class rider where it counted:

“But the fact is that if you are riding your bike five, six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You’re just not. You have fatigue, low testosterone, and a lower libido.” He grins. “But you know, I never got any complaints.”

Perhaps they just enjoyed the free stamps he left on the bedside as a rider for US Postal, or the Shark Week t-shirts he left all over the place as a rider for Team Discovery Channel. One note, Lance: women never tell you to your face. Instead, as you do at a fine chain restaurant, they take comment cards and write down their complaints on those. The difference? They don't mail them back to you, but instead share them with other women. Oh, and there's no coupons involved. That's an important note to mention here, too, though from the way you're raking it in as "a single young (36?) man," you may want to consider handing some out to your numerous customers.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.