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Michael Irvin Adds to His Unbelievable Legacy

Quick quiz, hotshot: which of the following things are actually true about former Cowboys wideout Michael Irvin?

1. Slashed a teammate's throat with a pair of scissors and wasn't even charged with it.

2. Coordinated airborne orgies with multiple parties during his Cowboys days.

3. Is one of 17 children.

4. Vomited on himself during pass drills and kept going.

5. Delivered what many regard as one of the most moving Hall of Fame speeches in the NFL's history.

6. Suggested on a radio interview that Tony Romo was fast because one of his pre-Emancipation Proclamation ancestors slept with a slave of African descent.

7. Avoided a carjacking Monday night when the thieves recognized Irvin and began talking with him instead of taking his new Range Rover at gunpoint.

8. All of the above.

If you chose option 8, you pass, grasshopper.

More on option 7: Irvin avoided the carjacking Monday when the would-be robbers made a startling realization:

“He put [the gun] away, because he recognized me. He said, 'Hey, Mike Irvin, what's up? Mike Irvin, man, we are big Cowboy fans,'" Irvin said. He said his pistol-packing fans sped off after several minutes.
A Michael Irvin biopic will never be made because if you actually did write everything that ever happened in Irvin's life down, no one would believe it. It would also have a difficult time getting past the censors, because if you believe the accounts from Jeff Pearlman's Boys Will Be Boys, half of it would have to be shot in Porn Valley, or aboard airplanes above Porn Valley, and that would get expensive.

(Via With Leather)

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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your post is poop.there is one thing in your weak-sauce list that you forgot though - IRVIN IS ONE OF THE BEST RECEIVERS OF ALL-TIME, PERIOD.nobody actually knows michael irvin. all we know is that he was a beast on the field.nobody really knows the real story about the other mike either. (jordan) but so what? all we know is that he was the best player to pick up a basketball.what does the rest of this crap have to do with imike rvins ability to catch a football?zip. that’s what.the rest of this is just celebrity gossip.

by vouve on Jan 14, 2009 1:55 PM EST reply actions  

Right, Jeff Pearlman, the greatest gossip novelist of our time.

by cmottram on Jan 14, 2009 2:06 PM EST reply actions  

Great comeback mottram. You can’t argue with blind fanaticism.

by J Bone A on Jan 14, 2009 2:14 PM EST reply actions  

p.s can you guys add a edit key for posts?(i hate looking at my grammatical errors after the fact…)anyways.so, let me just get this straight:just because mike irvin has drug problems – we should look at him and think…what exactly?that his on-field accomplishments are now tainted?that he is now a warning to people about stardom, success and doom?i am just willing to admit that i don’t personally know the guy.and mottram, being in the sports biz, you should know more than anyone the difference between what pro guys and their people want us to know and what the truth about their character is.mike jordan has tons of skeletons in the closet, yet sn keeps him off of the firing line…..why the double standard?(the gram. error thing again)

by vouve on Jan 14, 2009 2:28 PM EST reply actions  

The point of the post wasn’t to taint Irvin’s on-field accomplishments, but rather to point out just a small portion of the ridiculous off-field things that have happened to him, and to add to that the latest incident. It was written in jest. You’re taking it all a bit too seriously, I think.

by cmottram on Jan 14, 2009 2:33 PM EST reply actions  

you’re right. i am….but one more thing:we make fun of these pro guys like they are actors in a play. but they’re not. irvin had a guy flash a gun at him. and that (assuming it happened) is real scary.and then, more often then not, we take the fallen superstars and turn their lives into a holier-then-thou joke.it would suck to be on the other end of that…just sayin’.

by vouve on Jan 14, 2009 2:40 PM EST reply actions  

It would suck to be on the other end of that? The end that involves airplane orgies and making millions to play a game? Yeah, that sounds awful.

by cmottram on Jan 14, 2009 2:50 PM EST reply actions  

the ‘they chose to be famous so they are fair game’ argument.being in a fishbowl would be really, really hard.if someone is kind to you, you don’t know why. (or what they are after)this applies to family, women or even an acquaintance…going out in public is no longer possible.all sense of ‘reality’ is gone out the window.in my opinion – this is why so many of these athletes, rock and movie stars are so messed up.we all make mistakes. theirs are documented and laughed at – by us.and i think plane-orgies are a good indicator of something gone wrong.not right.(i can just imagine the reply on that one)

by vouve on Jan 14, 2009 3:03 PM EST reply actions  

Vouve—Go give Jeff Pearlman some money and read "Boys Will Be Boys." Then come back, and you’ll see that the short bio of Michael Irvin cited above is very, very kind. Irvin did interviews for the book and has contested none of it.

by shall.tsn on Jan 14, 2009 3:13 PM EST reply actions  

shall—i got my tail ripped off of me last week when i posted that p.j. brown was nuts to turn down the opportunity to play in the nba for a championship again…i know that irvin has lived a crazy life. i know that a pro athlete’s life is a dream next to mine – or anybody who works 45hrs. a week….just watch the stones in glass houses stuff.and if you are going to torch irvin – torch everyone. not just when a guy is down.

by vouve on Jan 14, 2009 3:34 PM EST reply actions  

  1. should have been "people cheered when it appeared that he broke his neck."

9) Held a gun to a hooker’s head while Nate Newton had her… I may have that story partially wrong, but not by much.

by L'etat, c'est moi on Jan 14, 2009 3:36 PM EST reply actions  

"and if you are going to torch irvin – torch everyone."

We do our best to make fun of all pro athletes equally.

by cmottram on Jan 14, 2009 3:45 PM EST reply actions  

good!so where is ‘the true life of michael jordan’story?l’etat -dude, you are funny.p.s. where were aikman and emmitt sitting on the plane ride?(since we are now going to be fair)

by vouve on Jan 14, 2009 4:11 PM EST reply actions  

Vouve: No, you can’t edit your posts yet. The blog you’re respondng to is edit-able, but your comments are set in stone as of now.

And I thought Vouve was responding to Spencer Hall and not Pearlman?

Pearlman, along with being an SI/ESPN guy, is a former Newsday writer, former food and fashion writer, and author of books with subtitles like:

"A Season of Brawling, Boozing, Bimbo-chasing and Championship Baseball
with Straw, Doc, Mookie, Nails, The Kid, and the Rest of the 1986 Mets,
the Rowdiest Team Ever to Put on a New York Uniform—and Maybe the
Best."

and

"The Glory Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty"

and

"Barry Bonds and the Making of an Antihero"

So maybe he’s not exactly a gossip columnist, but the dude certainly seeks out the sensational storylines, and does make a point of going after the most tabloid-worthy sports figures. So maybe that’s what V was getting at.  With the glory CMot defined as "airplane orgies and making millions to play a game"  comes the public ridicule and high-profile books detailing your every flaw. Would you choose the former if you knew what came with it? Is the SB a place for the latter? Whatever guys like Irving accomplished on the court are soon forgotten.

Hate to have to play translator here, but c’mon. Don’t just write this guy off because he has a complaint.

Or maybe Vouve just needed to know from the get-go that this was a book review. Maybe that context needed to be set first.

by Not_bob on Jan 14, 2009 4:20 PM EST reply actions  

"so where is 

‘the true life of michael jordan’

story?"

I don’t know. You seem to have an obsession with the topic. Perhaps you’re the man to write it. Until an outrageous book about his life is penned, or he does something both timely and interesting, he won’t be mentioned on this blog.

by cmottram on Jan 14, 2009 4:47 PM EST reply actions  

Wasn’t The Jordan Rules enough, man? :)

by Not_bob on Jan 14, 2009 4:51 PM EST reply actions  

Don’t ask me, ask the man who seems to think Jordan is on par with Irvin.

by cmottram on Jan 14, 2009 4:53 PM EST reply actions  

Or Irvin on par with MJ. And I was..

I think he just likes his Mikes.

by Not_bob on Jan 14, 2009 4:56 PM EST reply actions  

Nowhere in this article does it mention Irvin’s feats on the field, so I have no idea where vouve is coming up with these ideas that this is slandering his playmaking ability.

And I don’t care who did all those things. Show me one person that’s stabbed someone in the neck w/scissors. coordinate airborne orgies, but can still come up with a speech that can make people emotional.

by eatchinesefood51 on Jan 14, 2009 5:43 PM EST reply actions  

Nice picture- he’s got that blow-up doll face look down perfect!

by Oh no, they killed Kenny on Jan 14, 2009 8:43 PM EST reply actions  

He IS a wide receiver, no?

by L'etat, c'est moi on Jan 14, 2009 9:05 PM EST reply actions  

that was really, really fun(thanks guys)about m.j. -here is what i have heard.1. a guy was dead on a golf course with a personalized check for a large sum of money, signed by jordan.2. his dad was murdered in a car on the side of a road. (leading to wide speculation about why)3. rumored to have a massive gambiling addiction.4. was ruthless and often violent with his teammates.is any of this true?who knows. (although he did punch-out kerr once)but my point is we never really know,unless of course - you were on the plane too..and ‘sacred calf’ guys like m.j. or griffey jr. seem to get get a free pass…and it’s easy to torch bonds when he is down.it’s brave when he hits 72.

by vouve on Jan 15, 2009 12:32 AM EST reply actions  

and thanks for sticking up for me bobby.(one canuck to another)

by vouve on Jan 15, 2009 12:48 AM EST reply actions  

what we need here is for andre waters to show up again and again put this simple azz irvin into the hospital. that last hit that laid his sorry azz out at the 20 yd line at the vet was a thing of beauty…just remembering that hit brings tears of joy to my eyes.between that hit and all the cocaine he smoked, and still smokes, its amazing that he is even able to speak.

by HITMAN211 on Jan 15, 2009 11:41 AM EST reply actions  

Not a problem V. You were a little sensitive there, but still, that’s allowed.

I can’t really speak on Griffey, but I know Jordan was driven, and no saint. There have been books written on the subject. Guys here like Lawstash and Better.Than.Jordan loved to juxtapose Kobe’s Colorado case with Jordan’s gambling and infidelity, or Kobe’s former psycho-social problems with his teammates to Jordan’s scuffles with Kerr and Cartwright. I never knew if that was a compliment or a criticism of either.

Thing is, Jordan’s not a complete asshole, he’s just hyper-competitive and that often got in the way of his better judgement. Even Kerr acknowledges Mike called him later and apologized for blackening his eye. He verbally beat up his teammates, but if they responded, he also encouraged them. That’s why most of his  former teammates, the ones who stuck around and played harder, still speak of him in good terms.

Jordan Sr. was murdered by some punk kids while he was taking a rest during a long drive. They were thieves, and made a video afterwards showing off the stolen championship rings they got off the body.

In a televised interview, Jordan’s admitted to being reckless with his gambling. But he was no Barkley, if I can use that analogy now.

And I think that’s part of it. Jordan’s fessed up to most of the criticisms against him, and adressed them when challenged on it.

Even his personal life issues have gone on tape: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21692348/

I don’t know if it’s right or not, but part of the reason guys like Vick and Bonds get villified a lot more is because they’re far more evasive, and less media savvy with their issues.

The other reason is that their misdeeds are much more extreme, and in some cases illegal.

by Not_bob on Jan 15, 2009 12:43 PM EST reply actions  

Totally agree with you vouge. I guess writers find it easier to vilify the "stars" that are held low in the court of public opinion already. And the whole "guess which is true" format that the article is written in does come off a bit childish. Taking into account that he was robbed at gun point I’d also say the writer seems to get a kick of some sort off this. Yup, Irvin is easy fodder so lets just make this invidious article to perpetuate the hate fest. This is nonsensical and only used to take pot shots at a man that a lot of people don’t really like.

I destest the Dallas Cowboys so there’s no bias here. Any who, everybody be blessed.

*I’d like to go ahead and apologize for any grammatical errors. Like Vouge I’d like an edit feature, lol.

by Pantherfan_Jay on Jan 15, 2009 11:28 PM EST reply actions  

Oh, and one more thing.  I think the pic used for Irvin on top of this article is an indication of what the writer wanted to do: Make him(Irvin) look foolish.

by Pantherfan_Jay on Jan 15, 2009 11:32 PM EST reply actions  

He doesn’t need any help on that front.

by J Bone A on Jan 16, 2009 9:06 AM EST reply actions  

There’s nothing invidious about writing facts down. And I LOVE Michael Irvin, for the record.

by shall.tsn on Jan 16, 2009 11:37 AM EST reply actions  

The motive behind this article is, in my opinion, is to perpetuate the dislike that people have for Irvin. The ridiculous picture and the format of the piece suggest that.

by Pantherfan_Jay on Jan 16, 2009 12:02 PM EST reply actions  

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