Lane Kiffin Bribes Locals, Names Son 'Knox'

Lane Kiffin, let's hope you're not fired in two years, lest you remember a failed tenure in Knoxville with anger each time you stare at your son. ↵

↵Kiffin and his wife announced the birth of their child, Monte Knox Kiffin, who will go by the name Knox according to his father. This may be adding to a sturdy case of child abuse in the Kiffin household, as Lane has already named his daughters Landry (as in Tom) and Presley (as in Elvis.) ↵

↵

↵It's a nice gesture, but if he'd really wanted to impress the locals, though, why not Peyton? Or Neyland? Or better yet, just shortcut the middle man of meaning and dive right into a real statement by naming your kid something really impressive, like "Asskick Jones," ↵"Facebreak Whiskeysnorter," or "12 Gauge Reckoning Kiffin." Name your child that and win five games in the SEC, and you'll start a veritable craze in the hills of East Tennessee with style statements like that. ↵

↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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