10 Reasons to Watch the Sugar Bowl

10. Brian Johnson. Johnson is an accurate, composed passer who runs Utah's spread with precision and poise. This won't matter against Alabama's defense, but it's nice to mention how good Johnson is before you watch him have a very bad night and assume otherwise.

9. Nick Saban's on-camera rage. It's something to behold: the color drains from his face, his hair stands up on end, and it looks like he's trying to suck a player's soul out like King Imhotep in The Mummy. I keep watching Alabama games in hope this very thing will actually happen live on the air.

8. Comedy! Called upon to broadcast major NCAA football games three times a year or so, you may laugh at Fox's continued attempts to cover the college game. They seem to think this involves showing the band every 30 seconds or so and lingering on reaction shots and guys in body paint a lot, sometimes doing this even while actual football plays are happening on the field. Once you claw your eyes out in frustration it starts to get funny. Trust us.

7. Terrence Cody. You may recognize Cody from the episode of Extreme Engineering that focused on the construction of his massive, eight-story-tall helmet. The Alabama defensive tackle allegedly weighed 400 pounds when he signed out of community college with Alabama. I say "allegedly" because properly weighing him would involve taking him out to the vet school and weighing him on the livestock scale.

6. The B-word. See how many times the announcers mention "Boise State" when discussing Utah's BCS slot. The over/under in the first half on references? No fewer than 15.

5. John Parker Wilson's amazing 30-yard dropback. Wilson has had a fine senior season, but no quarterback (not even Cullen Harper) drops back further and flirts with disastrous sacks for huge losses than Wilson. At times, under pressure, Wilson appears to be running for the locker room. (To be fair: he doesn't take these sacks all that often, but it's still terrifying to watch.)

4. A Nathan Davis a.k.a. Scary Alabama Back Tattoo Guy Sighting. Reportedly the nicest human being on the planet, but also prone to painting his face and looking very, very frightening.

3. The possibility of seeing very bad behavior by adults on camera. Always strong in any environment, but as if being in New Orleans wasn't incentive enough, they sell bucket-sized beers in the Superdome. If Fox is going to show the crowd for half the game, they better have the kill switch ready, especially once people start breaking out the handfuls of beads in a blowout situation.

2. The Probability of an unholy skullcrushing. There's something fine and enjoyable about a blowout done right. It is similar to watching a news report about a fire at a chemical plant; you know something's already burning out of control, but you stick around just to see how much bigger the conflagration can get. Alabama outweighs Utah by around 40 pounds at each position on the offensive line versus the defensive line, and that's not beer weight, either: Alabama's superbly conditioned. This likely gets out of hand, especially if mutant Julio Jones gets loose in the secondary.

1. The Possibility of an upset. The only undefeated team in the nation right now is Utah. If Alabama somehow makes gaffes and turns a few over, this game could be close and possibly result in an upset. Note: in theory. You may also sprout wings, a horn, and make a living at children's parties appearing as the "Human Unicorn." Both are theoretically possible. Neither is probable.

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