TSB in Tampa: Calling it a 'Ghost Town' Would Be Overstating the Excitement

Chris Mottram is on the loose in Tampa this week. He'll be posting about various goodness and misadventures here on no particular schedule.

The palm tree-to-human ratio at Channelside: 4:1. That one human being the sad man playing cover tunes on ESPN's stage.

Tampa is dead. It is, after all, only Monday, so I’m not sure anything different is to be expected. But seriously: There’s nothing going on around here. I walked all over downtown for about an hour tonight. Weary, starving and in need of a frosty beverage, I stumbled upon Boss Hog's. It was a dive-ish bar with maybe eight other patrons scattered about*, hoops on the tele and beer on tap, so it was perfect. I ordered a Yuengling and some food. And then I received something I didn't ask for: an unexpected lesson in Yinzer culture.

A man wearing a Cleveland Indians sweatshirt, who either had a severe speech impediment or was extremely intoxicated (based on the shots of Aristocrat vodka, I’ll guess the latter), wandered from person-to-person, ensuring everyone would be left feeling uncomfortable, until he reached me, at which point he dropped this bit of knowledge -- 100% unprovoked -- in an extremely thick Buckeye accent:

“West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ohio ... tristate area, baby. It’s cold as hell up there. That’s why we’re tough as s---. And when we whoop your ass, get over it.”

When I inquired as to how “we” are going to be whooping ass, he responded, “Ben Roethlisberger, Hines Ward ... oh my god.” Indeed. He then stumbled over to the jukebox, put on a Scorpions ballad I’m unfamiliar with and yelled, “Ladies! Listen to this. It’s a good one.” There were no women in the establishment at the time.

Steelers fans: 1; Cardinals fans: 0.

*This clearly runs counter to the warning on the bar’s website: “Boss Hog’s is a wild crazy party atmosphere. If you don’t know how to have fun, stay the f--- home.”

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.