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TSB in Tampa: The Prototypical Steelers Fan

by Chris Mottram • Jan 29, 2009 5:30 PM EST

Chris Mottram is on the loose in Tampa this week. He'll be posting about various goodness and misadventures here on no particular schedule.

As seen everywhere in Tampa this week ...

1. Backwards Steelers hat. Not only is this more intimidating, but Ben Roethlisberger wears his hats in this fashion, so it must be cool. (Ed. note: it isn't.)

2. Incredibly corny, yet timely novelty t-shirt. Alternate shirt for game day: “On the Road to Sixburgh”.

3. Duffle bag from a previous Super Bowl, thus letting everyone know that this ain’t his first rodeo.

4. Colored, reflective sunglasses protecting his eyes from giving any clues about his motives. Hint: They likely aren’t friendly. Or legal.

5. Gold chain, just to let you know that he’s got it like that.

6. Superman tat. Why in the world would this guy feel the need to have a Superman logo on this leg? Ask your mom, bro -- she knows why.

7. Bluetooth. Because one hand is reserved for a Terrible Towel and the other an IC Light.

8. Pencil-thin chinstrap. Much like how the male gorilla’s back hair is silver, this strap of facial hair is used to distinguish the male Steelers fan from the female. Despite this bit of brilliant evolution, there is still oftentimes confusion.

9. Steelers tat. This guy loves the Steelers for life and now NO ONE CAN DOUBT THIS!

10. Matching shorts and shoes. Because you gotta look good out there when you’re begging for autographs, am I right, ladies?

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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Comments

If you wear the hat properly, it interferes with the Iron City Beer consumptive process.

by L'etat, c'est moi on Jan 29, 2009 6:12 PM EST reply actions

I can honestly say I only have one of those.. And that will be left for guessing.

But people like this make me ashamed that I like the same team they do.

Also.. I rather just say the corny things than wear them on my shirt.

Also.. I rather just say the corny things than wear them on my shirt.So there goes number 2.

Also.. I rather just say the corny things than wear them on my shirt.So there goes number 2.Oooh which one is it.

by npcPronk29 on Jan 29, 2009 8:43 PM EST reply actions

you’re missing the point, brah.
he was trying to sell you a six-pack.

by madmolecule3 on Jan 29, 2009 11:28 PM EST reply actions

What, no camo?

by jamiemottram on Jan 30, 2009 8:08 AM EST reply actions

Whoa..Mottram just baked Steeler Nation. Better be careful! They have towels to wave. Terrible ones, at that.

by ChiAdam on Jan 30, 2009 9:39 AM EST reply actions

It’s still better than the Arizona t-shirts…"Please God, let’s us win just one time..please oh please oh please!"

by Tileking59 on Jan 30, 2009 11:11 AM EST reply actions

is anyone else praying for a steelers collapse if not for the youtubage (e.g. crying giants fan)?

by psudrozz on Jan 30, 2009 11:24 AM EST reply actions

tintown tears will rain from this knob

by scurds on Jan 30, 2009 11:54 AM EST reply actions

How could you forget the Livestrong bracelet? Which just happens to be in Steelers colors when matched with the black Deadstrong one. And the white one with the matching beaded bracelet on the other side.

I’d also like to point out that the bag clearly says NFL Extra Points on it. Which means A) he has a Steelers credit card B) he didn’t attend the Super Bowl, he either redeemed his points for that bag or got it free. C) duffle bags appear to cost around 5000 points which would mean that he had to spend $5000 to get that if it wasn’t his bonus for signing up.

by twoeightnine on Jan 30, 2009 12:03 PM EST reply actions