The Leg Bone's Connected to the Pubic Bone, Unless Your Name is LaDainian Tomlinson

With the playoffs here and LaDainian Tomlinson feeling less than 100%, the storyline is almost predictable: Chargers go down, L.T. barely plays, news that Philip Rivers played with shattered rib cage and a swollen aorta breaks on Monday, some columnist calls L.T. soft, Rivers devours a litter of kittens instead of undergoing surgery. I think that's what happened last year, anyway.

But L.T. has a new weapon in his arsenal this winter: the Tomlinson injury in question sounds so horrific no one will question him, even if he spends the entire Colts-Chargers game weeping on Norv Turner's compassionate shoulder.

The injury, a detached tendon that connects the [groin] muscle to the pubic bone, can affect Tomlinson's ability to make sharp cuts on the field.

One of the connections between his groin muscle and his pubic bone fell apart. Yeah, I guess that would affect Tomlinson's ability to make sharp cuts on the field. It would affect my ability to not constantly squeal like a little girl.

Never mind that L.T. will now escape any criticism for his play, win or lose. Imagine if he (now stay with me here) has a good game. He'll be a hero to men everywhere for eternity. He'll become an instant favorite for the 2010 California gubernatorial race. If you man up and compete despite your pubic bone being partially detached, you have a lifetime of free drinks and beef jerky ahead of you.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.