Give Me The Gas And I'll See You In Moscow

Besides giving a transitive property national title to Ole Miss, the Gators' win in the BCS title game over Oklahoma means several extremely portentous things.
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↵1. Urban Meyer Is Officially A Boss. Two BCS titles in four years at Florida and a recruiting machine cut from the guts of his in-state rivals establishes Florida as the premier football program on the East Coast. Cut the college football universe in two: Florida gets first dibs east of the Mississippi, and USC gets everything west of it. If there is a just football deity around, the two teams will meet for a game in the next three years before one or both coaches suffers a midlife crisis and takes a pro job.
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↵(Yes, Pete Carroll's approaching 60. But do you doubt he's living to 120?)
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↵2. Future Heisman Winners: Decline. There is no scientific evidence that being a Heisman winner in a national title game will lead to you losing. It has nothing to do with the Heisman whatsoever. Despite this, the next winner should send a stand-in to accept the award in their stead, like James Van Der Beek in his Varsity Blues jacket. Anything to avoid the possibility that a curse exists. Just say you have some intestinal bug. No one will ever press you about that.
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↵3. Decelerate, please. Assumptions one should not make about this game: 1) Bob Stoops always loses big bowl games. Untrue. By the record, he only loses 66% of them. 2) All Big 12 defenses are uniformly awful. Inaccurate. This proves only that the defenses Oklahoma faces are uniformly awful, which means all Big 12 defenses save Oklahoma, which kept Florida's offense in check for most of the game. 3) Fox puts on an incompetent broadcast. No. Incompetent doesn't cover how inept their clodfooted work on the BCS has been.
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↵4. Vote independent. Go ahead and vote whomever you like. The system holds little meaning, so go ahead and vote your Utah or Texas. With no playoff, feel free to write your own storyline. The tight game played tonight lent fuel to the fire of those who claim we have no definitive winner...which remains a fact. We don't.
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↵5. Give me the gas and I'll see you in Moscow. Sooo...line up Utah versus Florida for the 15th in New Orleans, and USC versus Texas in Pasadena on the same day, and then have the winners do it here in Miami on the 22nd. When Patton reached the line of control with the Russians, he allegedly said, "Give me a million gallons of gas and I'll see you in Moscow." Give me the money to make it happen, and we'll see you in Playoffland for the war we all really want to see.
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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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