New Mexico Suspends Head Coach Locksley for Next Game

New Mexico officials announced today football coach Mike Locksley would be suspended for eight days from the program without pay, including the UNLV game, which he will have to watch from the press box. Locksley will have no contact of any sort with the football program during that time. He will likely fill the empty hours by punching out total strangers, a lesser joy than punching out your co-workers, but one that will have to do.

The most damaging thing for Locksley may be a substantial victory over UNLV, since the Lobos have been playing so badly with him at the helm of the team so far that a victory would look bad, bad, bad indeed. Nevertheless, football coaches are 2-0 in cases of punching underlings this year, so feel free to keep swinging away, aggro gridiron CEOs. Thus far, only Woody Hayes seems to have paid the ultimate price, but he did it on camera. Keep it in the offices behind closed doors and you’ll be fine.