This Week In Schadenfreude: Oct. 12

↵There's a fair bit to pick from this week, but when a man widely ↵regarded as inferior ↵to a giant catfish when it comes to quarterbacking does ↵this to you: ↵

↵

↵ ↵

↵

↵There's not much to say that you can't say by tagging your post ↵"times I wish I were dead" as Hey Jenny Slater's Doug ↵Gillett does. Or by comparing ↵your defensive coordinator to Maurice Gamelin, the man in command of ↵the French military-type substance during World War II. UGA's Willie ↵Martinez does come out on top 5-3. So Georgia's got ↵that going for them. They've also got this week's Tears of ↵Unfathomable Sadness all to themselves; you know it's bad when ↵the Georgia blogs -- which I praised/criticized earlier this year for being ↵amongst the most reasonable outposts in the blogosphere -- are pumping out ↵ ↵TWIS-worthy material: ↵

↵
↵⇥

F.

↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥That's all the breakdown you need from today's game. ↵
↵

↵What must the message boards be saying ↵? ↵

↵
↵⇥DRUNK AND ↵⇥BITTER   (Posted on ↵⇥10/11 at 4:56 a.m.) ↵⇥
↵⇥even after a nap, severeal brewskies, gheetting ↵⇥laid, another party, and more drinsk, im still sick to my stomach at4 in ↵⇥the morning. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥i live ibn tennesseee, and being the looudest dawg fan i know, its ↵⇥tough. ↵
↵

↵Elsewhere on that fantastic, spleen-ridden board: Budman says ↵Georgia ↵is Kentucky now, an argument about Joe Cox that involves the ↵statement "I know ↵you've got ginger love for him," many people taking the ↵Boy Wonder over Mark Richt as a head coach, calls for ↵Richt's firing, and, naturally, the "Welcome to ↵MEDIOCRITY" post as mandated by the Internet Message Board act ↵of 1996. ↵

↵

↵The rest of the week in spleen after the jump. ↵

↵ ↵

ACC

↵

↵Florida State is now 0-3 in the ACC for the first ↵time ever. The president is resigning. ↵The trustees have brought ↵the knives out for the guy who built the program. And Tomahawk Nation has been railing ↵against the dying days of the Bowden regime for a couple years now. ↵Result? Well ... they actually hold ↵it together pretty impressively, leaving the bile for the ↵commenters. ↵

↵

↵Said commenters, though: ↵

↵
↵⇥
there just ↵⇥can't be anything more emasculating at this level
↵⇥
↵⇥

↵⇥than walking off the field after 4 quarters knowing you didn't stop ↵⇥them once. Not a field goal, not a punt...all touchdowns when they ↵⇥didn't ↵⇥self inflict w/errant pitches resulting in fumbles. ↵⇥

↵⇥

↵⇥watching the demeanor of our kids on defense is just plain ↵⇥depressing. ↵⇥

↵⇥
↵⇥

↵⇥by BCDnole on Oct ↵⇥10, 2009 10:23 PM PDT ↵⇥

↵
↵

↵I don't know, BCDnole, did you check the City of Crompton ↵stats above? ↵

↵

↵And here's a nice bit of Fan Civil War for the mustache ↵enthusiasts in the crowd: ↵

↵
↵⇥
"Jimbo Fisher is the reason we lost ↵⇥this game"
↵⇥
↵⇥

↵⇥Direct quote from a "fan" behind me..i felt as though it was my ↵⇥inherent right and duty to punch him directly in the nose ↵⇥

↵⇥
↵⇥

↵⇥by fsudt45 on Oct ↵⇥10, 2009 10:21 PM PDT ↵⇥

↵
↵

↵DT45 is asked whether he actually followed through with ↵the punchening. He did not use his fists, but he got his blows in: ↵

↵
↵⇥
i punched ↵⇥him with my words
↵⇥
↵⇥told him terrible things..things that richard pryor wouldn't ↵⇥speak ↵⇥
↵⇥

↵⇥by fsudt45 on Oct ↵⇥10, 2009 10:23 PM PDT ↵⇥

↵
↵

↵Excellent work. ↵

↵

↵Elsewhere, Boston ↵College gets an F ↵for their humiliation at the hands of Virginia Tech; shortening ↵"Spaziani" to Spaz is going to get very middle-school in about ↵three weeks. For now, the inexplicable decision to throw the second-team ↵offense out in the second quarter when BC was down 17-0 comes ↵in for a pummeling: ↵

↵
↵⇥I was outraged and horrified to see the ↵⇥second team offense play in the first half. That was the most godawful ↵⇥coaching decision I can remember seeing. Of all the things that upset me ↵⇥in this game, that was *by far* the worst! ↵
↵

↵OUTRAGE! ↵

↵

BIG EAST

↵

↵Light week here with Cincinnati off and nonconference play wrapping ↵up with wins (actual wins!) for Rutgers and Louisville, so we'll go back ↵to the Syracuse well. The Cuse got blown off the ↵Carrier Dome field, causing Troy Nunes Is An Absolute ↵Magician to declare a moratorium ↵on honoring Syracuse's legendary past: ↵

↵
↵⇥Two things Syracuse should never do again...invite Jim Brown to watch ↵⇥a game and honor Ernie Davis. ↵
↵

↵Brown's witnessed two shellackings in his last two trips to the ↵Carrier Dome -- though that statement might go for anyone who's been to the ↵Dome twice since Donovan McNabb graduated -- and on the three separate ↵occasions Ernie Davis has been honored, Syracuse has gotten pounded by ↵South Florida. Nunes on that: ↵

↵
↵⇥At this point I'm all for thanking Jim Brown and Ernie Davis for ↵⇥everything they've done and never speaking of them again. ↵⇥Deal? Deal. ↵
↵

↵If they get Brown and McNabb to have a photo op near the Ernie Davis ↵statue, the entire city of Syracuse might implode, leaving nothing but a ↵scrap of furry orange material behind. ↵

↵

BIG TEN

↵

↵Rich Rodriguez decided to yank Tate Forcier for Denard Robinson late, ↵which worked out fine for one drive but did not work out when ↵Michigan got the ball back needing a field goal with ↵just 1:40 late. Forcier, of course, has several comebacks already this year. Denard ↵Robinson's QB rating is worse than Nick Sheridan's was last year. People ↵at the home base are taking it ↵well: ↵

↵
↵⇥I Have Seen Evil Incarnate ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥I attended the game Saturday at Iowa. ↵
↵

↵And that's just about piped-in music. There's a 115-comment ↵thread on the Robinson final drive containing gems like this: ↵

↵
↵⇥As if it wasn't bad enough Rodriguez was throwing a fit like a ↵⇥spoiled child on the sidelines yelling at his FRESHMAN quarterback ON ↵⇥THE ROAD against #12...Then he puts his running qb in the game with a ↵⇥minute left and no time outs. Absolutely stupid. ↵
↵

↵And this ↵: ↵

↵
↵⇥rich rod ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥blew that game... no reason to play denard... he can't read a ↵⇥defense. INEXCUSABLE ↵
↵

↵MGoBlog has a point system where ↵people vote up or down on posts, and this guy got negged into the ↵ground, then came back to complain about ↵getting negged into the ground ... ↵

↵
↵⇥this points system is completely flawed ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥You should have to take a football IQ test to post ... ↵
↵

↵... and then got negged into the ground some more. Woo! Naturally, the ↵Robinson = DEATH thread is followed by another one demanding the ↵insertion of Robinson earlier, proposing a Denard-Tate Civil ↵War, and thanking ↵God they aren't Florida State fans. ↵

↵

BIG 12

↵

↵There wasn't much in the way of surprising losses this weekend, just ↵a couple of close calls by Oklahoma State and Kansas against the ↵conference's weak sisters. Missouri did gack it up ↵against Nebraska late. Mizzourah got invaded ↵by Cornhuskers fans afterwards and put up a post complaining about ↵it. ↵

↵

↵But the real star attraction is the rare appearance from a blogger ↵whose team won by 24 points. Here's one of the horde at ↵Texas blog Barking Carnival on the ↵38-14 immolation of Colorado: ↵

↵
↵⇥Sweet nine pound eight ounce baby jeebus if I have to watch that ↵⇥sorry effing excuse for offensive coordigodamnation one more f------ ↵⇥time I am going to detonate something large and dangerous. I want ↵⇥to hand out Scipios damn running game break down as a surgeon general's ↵⇥warning for football viewing in Central Texas. ↵⇥The surgeon general warns you that if you want to become pregnant ↵⇥avoid men wearing burnt orange after University of Texas football games ↵⇥because they really just want ot stick their [dingly] in a food ↵⇥processor to end the misery that is watching Greg Davis f--- up a wet ↵⇥dream for a solid decade. ↵⇥Also, computers should require breathalyzers. ↵
↵

↵Word about the breathalyzers. Colorado was up 14-10 at the half and ↵Texas only managed 313 yards of offense on a team that saw Toledo run up ↵and down the field until they got tired of it, but wow that's some bile ↵for a four-score win. "The General" is this weeks ↵Scott Tenorman of the Week by a country mile. Well ... ↵

↵
↵⇥Greg Davis writes sonnets to 3rd and 9. He loves it like Byron loved ↵⇥his Newfoundland. ↵
↵

↵... maybe not a country mile. An urban half-mile. ↵

↵

PAC-10

↵

↵UCLA loses, this column instantly checks Bruins ↵Nation -- which was reliably, insanely entertaining in the waning weeks ↵(months? years?) of the Dorrell administration -- to find this: ↵

↵
↵⇥

Frustration: ↵⇥Staying Level Headed After Second Heart Wrenching Loss

↵
↵

↵Bleah. Moving on. How about Stanford? The last time we checked in on ↵the Cardinal, message board posters were being very Stanford about their ↵loss. This guy is not ↵being very Stanford: ↵

↵
↵⇥

PUNT? WE'RE DONE. THEY HAVE JUST KICKED OUR ***.

↵⇥
↵⇥CONGRATS TO THE BEAVERS, I REALLY DIDN'T EXPECT THIS. THE SCORE ISN'T ↵⇥INDICATIVE OF HOW BADLY WE WERE OUTPLAYED AND OUTCOACHED. ↵
↵

SEC

↵

↵Auburn's surprising, explosive unbeaten run to start ↵the season came to a thudding end when Ryan Mallett went all ↵"boom" and put up 44 on what had previously been a half-decent ↵defense. After last season, you'd think Auburn fans would have taken the ↵message about not changing coordinators midseason to heart. You'd be ↵right: ↵

↵
↵⇥
posticon I don't post much...
↵⇥But whatever effin tard we have as a DC, fire his a--. ↵
↵

↵To be fair, the instant reply is "please not another midseason ↵firing," but that does not dissuade "the ripper": ↵

↵
↵⇥Our OC made adjustments at half time. Our DC stood there with his ↵⇥thumb up his a--. I have not been this pissed since John Vaughn choked ↵⇥in Death Valley. ↵
↵

↵Really? I mean, really, you're 5-1 after going bowlless last year and ↵this is more anger-inducing than anything for years? And then there's ↵this guy: ↵

↵
↵⇥I could not agree more. I don't think the change should be made now, ↵⇥but after this season. I think pretty much every defensive coach ↵⇥we have should be fired. We are terrible in every aspect of ↵⇥defense. I have been watching Auburn football for 30 years and we have ↵⇥the worst defense I have ever seen us have!!!!!!!!! I am giving the chiz ↵⇥a break though as he had limited time to get a staff. Definite winner ↵⇥with gus, definite loser with roof. 50/50 as far as that goes. ↵⇥If we keep roof after this season, chiz will be here no more than 3 ↵⇥years. If he can get someone to run the defense like he used ↵⇥to, we can contend for national titles. CHIZ, THE CHOICE IS YOURS!! ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥WE ALSO NEED SPECIALS TEAMS COACHING AS WE ARE MORE PATHETIC THERE ↵⇥THAN I CAN EVER REMEMBER!! ↵
↵

↵Soon Auburn will be firing its coordinators before it bothers to hire ↵them. Norm Chow, you're fired. Monte Kiffin, you too. Don't come around ↵here anymore for the first time, you're no longer our future defensive ↵coordinator. ↵

↵

↵And of course it wouldn't be TWIS without someone threatening a coach with punishment below the belt: ↵

↵
↵⇥
If I see Ted Roof around town today, rest assured I will....
↵⇥

↵⇥punch him right in the [groin] and tell him that was from all of ↵⇥you....And DJ of course. You know, there may be a reason he was the DC ↵⇥at f------ DUKE.... ↵⇥

↵
↵

↵He was actually the head coach at Duke, but no matter. You sign up to ↵coach in the SEC and someone's coming after your most private of areas. ↵

↵

↵Meanwhile at LSU, the Tigers lose by ten to #1 Florida and Les Miles, ↵who did win a national title two years ago, is Bill Stewart all of a ↵sudden: ↵

↵
↵⇥Miles on the sidelines; watched recorded game last night ↵⇥(Posted on 10/12/09 at 11:26 a.m.) ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Read someone say yesterday that Miles ↵⇥reminds him of GWB on the sidelines, the way he looks. ↵⇥
↵⇥He looks to me like someone who won a contest to coach the ↵⇥team for the day (maybe a Guitar Hero contest in the ↵⇥Union)....very much like Wade Phillips in Dallas or Ron Zook on ↵⇥the sidelines. ↵
↵

↵Dude, Les Miles does not look like he's ever picked up a plastic ↵guitar in his life. A Deer Hunter contest, sure. Guitar ↵Hero ... no. ↵

↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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