This Week In Schadenfreude: Oct. 19

↵It was 2001 the last time Ohio State lost to a team that ↵finished with a losing record, as previously 1-5 Purdue is almost ↵guaranteed to do. Since then, the Buckeyes have lost to ↵Michigan once in seven attempts, ruled the Big Ten and entirely ↵forgotten what it's like to have a team that genuinely struggles. The ↵results are delicious. ↵

↵

↵In the aftermath of Saturday's not-that-close 26-18 loss to the ↵Boilermakers, the Buckeyes are turning on golden child Terrelle Pryor ↵after his drama-queen recruitment. The Ohio State internets took to ↵calling Pryor "Lebron in Cleats," or LiC, this offseason. ↵How's that working out? One guy on Eleven Warriors has a constant ↵mantra: "only 2 1/2 years left." Suggestions to change the ↵nickname to JiC, or "Juice in Columbus," are many, and the ↵proprietor of We Will Always ↵Have Tempe has another suggestion: ↵"Milicic-In-Cleats." ↵

↵

↵Other statements from one game thread on one blog follow. ↵Tressel is ↵a I-AA coach! ↵

↵
↵⇥jbeveridge ↵⇥says:10/17/2009 ↵⇥at 12:37pm ↵⇥pryor should have went somewhere that develops qb note tressel's ↵⇥history minus troy smith see supporting cast and b10 but for being a ↵⇥offensive coach it speaks my point YSU is where he ↵⇥belongs ↵
↵

↵The blog proprietor has moved the fanbase from fretting that they'd ↵rather have Tate Forcier to an entirely new, scarier ↵level of QB envy: ↵

↵
↵⇥Jason ↵⇥says: 10/17/2009 ↵⇥at 1:19pm ↵⇥Anyone here think they'd wish they had Joey Elliott instead of ↵⇥Terrelle Pryor at the half? ↵
↵

↵The stakes go up with a comparison ↵to the much maligned Steve Bellisari, and then some anonymous commenter ↵sees that and raises infinity: ↵

↵
↵⇥
↵⇥Anonymous ↵⇥says:10/17/2009 ↵⇥at 1:20pm ↵⇥
↵⇥Holy crap I am tired of Reggie Ball-Pryor. ↵
↵

↵And finally, the most ↵perfect comment in the world: ↵

↵
↵⇥NorCal Buckeye ↵⇥says: ↵⇥10/17/2009 ↵⇥at 1:28pm ↵⇥It's not easy being an Ohio State fan. No wonder we're a drunken army ↵⇥of idiots. ↵
↵

↵Mmmmm, Ohio State, your Tears of Unfathomable ↵Sadness are so yummy and sweet. ↵

↵

↵The rest of the week in spleen after the jump. ↵

↵ ↵

ACC

↵

↵Georgia Tech surged into the division lead by turning Bud Foster's ↵Virginia Tech defense into Swiss cheese and ↵VTHokieTBone7's XBox into ↵a brick: ↵

↵
↵⇥Subject: UGH. My XBOX just died while I was taking it to GT on ↵⇥Heisman mode. ↵⇥Posted by: VTHokieTBone7 on Sun Oct 18 2009 4:41:11 ↵⇥PM ↵⇥Message: ↵⇥CAN ANYBODY BEAT THESE GUYS?!?! ↵
↵

↵Hokiemet takes up the all-caps baton, providing the top ↵10 signs VT just got OUTCOACHED. A selection: ↵

↵
↵⇥07 - Doesn't matter that they CANNOT or WILL NOT PASS - refuse to ↵⇥move more defenders in the BOX to STOP THE RUN. ↵⇥
↵⇥06 - Their TIME OF POSSESSION is 1:38 short of FORTY MINUTES! ↵⇥
↵⇥05 - Your TIME OF POSSESSION averages 5 MINUTES PER QTR! ↵
↵

↵I like the effect of the erratic caps here. Makes it sound like ↵Captain Kirk is complaining about the latest Hokie game: "Doesn't ↵matter they... CANNOTORWILLNOTPASS... Spock!" ↵

↵

BIG EAST

↵

↵Louisville ... yeah. Louisville is going to be in ↵this column basically every week until Kragthorpe is fired. Which should be ↵soon, but until then we'll dance the dance of Fire ↵Coach X: ↵

↵
↵
↵ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵ ↵
↵
↵Card Chronicle, for its part, is just ↵done: ↵

↵  ↵

↵
↵⇥I tried yesterday to concoct a post that fully expressed my anger and ↵⇥frustration with all things Louisville football, but the sad truth is ↵⇥I've grown too numb to make that kind of concerted effort. I'm tired of ↵⇥talking about Louisville football, I'm tired of thinking about ↵⇥Louisville football and I'm really tired of watching Louisville ↵⇥football. ↵
↵

↵Basketball season, man. It's almost here. You can make it. ↵

↵

↵In Tampa, meanwhile: ↵

↵
↵⇥ ↵⇥  ↵⇥FIRE ↵⇥JIM LEAVITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↵⇥
↵⇥Undisciplined (any accountability for these players?) ↵⇥
↵⇥Terrible Play Calling (running the same plays that are NOT ↵⇥WORKING) ↵⇥
↵⇥Mike Ford still on the bench (He should just transfer to a school ↵⇥that will use his talent) ↵⇥
↵⇥Stupid mistakes (dropped passes, dropped interceptions, BJ trying ↵⇥to run around like crazy every play instead of staying in the pocket and ↵⇥throwing) ↵⇥When is this university going to realize that Leavitt cannot take ↵⇥this team to the next level? ↵⇥
↵⇥Leavitt is like Tony Dungy from the Bucs, they need a Gruden to ↵⇥take them to the next level. ↵
↵

↵The "next" level? Jim Leavitt is USF's level. ↵

↵

INDEPENDENT

↵

↵Notre Dame came charging back from a 34-14 deficit to record Charlie ↵Weis's second-greatest win at Notre Dame. That was still a seven-point ↵loss, though, and NDNation is once again racked with civil war. A number ↵of posters enjoyed the comeback and are fairly content with the opportunity ↵to send a game against USC into overtime. Some are ↵not: ↵

↵
↵⇥I do not concede. There is some s--- I will not eat. ↵⇥
↵⇥by mkova ↵⇥c ↵⇥(2009-10-18 12:59:58) ↵⇥

↵⇥... Weis can go s--- in a hat for all I care. He's dead to me. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥He does not deserve to lead these fine men. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥He should just turn his keys in and let someone who knows what the ↵⇥hell he is doing take over. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥We need someone who can lead men and inspire men. Not a Nintendo ↵⇥master. ↵⇥

↵
↵

↵Mkovac is a master of the one-sentence paragraph and our ↵Scott Tenorman of the Week. Elsewhere, another ↵late-game blunder by Weis E. Coyote is ↵drawing ire: ↵

↵
↵⇥Someone tell me why Weis let more than 20 seconds run ↵⇥off ↵⇥
↵⇥by IrishInvasion ↵⇥(2009-10-17 19:41:35) ↵⇥
↵⇥after Parris' catch and injury on the 4th down play. And then someone ↵⇥tell me how Weis should not be fired for such idiocy. We went from 35 ↵⇥seconds to about 13 before we got the next play off. Parris was on the ↵⇥field for a minute or two. Get the offense ready to run the next play as ↵⇥soon as the ball is put in play. Instead, Weis acts like the clock is ↵⇥stopped until the ball is snapped. Imbecile. ↵
↵

↵Can't even argue with that. When you've got first and goal with 35 ↵second left and one timeout and end up getting a fortunate review to ↵get a second back on the clock -- not many plays only take three ↵seconds -- and don't even get your fourth down, you've just made a colossal ↵error. ↵

↵

↵And then there's the ↵pain: ↵

↵
↵⇥How many times? How many times? ↵⇥
↵⇥by RMIr ↵⇥ish ↵⇥(2009-10-17 19:35:02) ↵⇥
↵⇥How many times must I endure these gut wrenching losses? Someone help ↵⇥me. How many times? It's become the norm and expected, that's what ↵⇥really scares me. ↵
↵

↵About half the time Notre Dame plays, with the other half being ↵last-second wins. ↵

↵

↵Elsewhere on the Nation, Charlie's time is up and it's time to ↵hire ... Steve Sarkisian. ↵As long as it's not Brian Kelly, fine. ↵

↵

BIG 12

↵

↵The worm has officially turned in the Red River Shootout, and ↵Oklahoma fans are looking for cheesy ↵nicknames and heads: ↵

↵
↵⇥[DC Brent Venables, AKA] Vulnerables is in over his head. He's ↵⇥incompetent and has been exposed time after time, yet Stoops keeps him, ↵⇥why??? Because he's getting 4 mil a year and doesn't give a **** if he ↵⇥craps out a garbage product. It's time he feels some heat. ↵
↵

↵Keeping with the theme here, that comes from a thread originally ↵titled "This is a Chumpionship Defense"; the original poster ↵later revised it to be less inflammatory but not before 317 comments got ↵blasted into it. One of them is a simple "u ↵are retarded" in response to the "Vulnerables" guy ↵above, which ... um ... if you're going to spell it "u" you ↵might as ↵well go the whole way with "are," right? You've already ↵painted yourself as a 14-year-old. The "retarded" thing gets echoed a ↵couple times before a defender jumps in and either confirms the ↵diagnosis or inadvertently reveals OU fans' terrible ↵secret: ↵

↵
↵⇥I am sorry the facts hurt your feelers. ↵⇥
↵⇥You guys were probably some of the same sunshine pumpers back in ↵⇥the Blake days. ↵
↵

↵Oh my God, they're insect-men sent from space to take over the ↵government! Prediction: they get to Washington with a huge, intimidating ↵block of supporters, get confused, and spend their political capital ↵impaling themselves on street signs. ↵

↵

PAC-10

↵

↵Okay, Washington did lose a gut-punch of a game, ↵allowing a 50-yard touchdown pass with five seconds left. But what did ↵you think Steve Sarkisian's honeymoon period would be after he took an ↵0-12 team and beat USC with it? Three weeks? At what point did you think ↵the Ty Willingham comparisons would start up? Never? Yeah, good thing ↵they don't ↵have lines for that in Vegas: ↵

↵
↵⇥

And you guys b----ed about Ty????

↵⇥
↵⇥Worst coached game I've ever seen. ↵
↵

↵To be fair, everyone responding to this guy says he's an idiot. He's ↵a persistent one, though: 508 posts and an ability to turn reality into ↵whatever ↵this is: ↵

↵
↵⇥Sark has more experienced players. ↵⇥
↵⇥Other than that, Coach Willingham would have a better year than ↵⇥Sark (if Locker stayed healthy) ↵
↵

↵There are members of Willingham's immediate family who would laugh at ↵that. ↵

↵

↵No one else on Dawgman wants Willingham back, but they don't ↵want defensive coordinator Nick Holt either: ↵

↵
↵⇥

Holt plays like he randomly calls up Madden D's...

↵⇥
↵⇥... just for the hell of it. Uh, haven't tried that one before. It ↵⇥looks AWESOME!!!!!! Honestly, Richard Simmons would never have let that ↵⇥clownfest occur. ↵⇥
↵⇥Up yours, Holt. ↵
↵

↵That'll happen after losing like that. Better to tell your DC ↵"up yours" -- which is irrationally funny to me -- than to kick a dog, ↵I guess. ↵

↵

↵And we're keeping a close eye on Bruins Nation for any sign ↵that UCLA's continued ineptitude will break the newly ↵patient braintrust over there, sending them into another maelstrom of ↵loathing on par with their epic campaign to have Karl Dorrell fired and ↵possibly deported. Is this the slightest ↵twitch beneath the eye I detect? ↵

↵
↵⇥

Dear Coach Neuheisel: Go For The Win Or Die Trying

↵⇥Let me make it clear at the outset. I am not even close to giving up ↵⇥on Rick Neuheisel and his chance of success as the head coach of UCLA ↵⇥football program. ↵
↵

↵... but I am going to dedicate 2000 words to a delicate ↵discussion of certain aspects in which Neuheisel could improve slightly ↵from the beautiful wonder-boy he is. Realistically, this will be UCLA's ↵worst team for a while -- they've had severe quarterback issues both of the ↵last two years that should ease as Neuheisel's improved recruiting takes ↵hold -- and the prospects for a full-on meltdown are slim. But I'm saying ↵there's a chance. ↵

↵

SEC

↵

↵Nothing much happened in the way of schadenfreude except ↵Auburn's hot start to the season coming to a definitive ↵end with a 21-14 loss to Kentucky, the first time UK has beaten Auburn ↵since 1966. Auburn fans at the big sites ↵are fairly levelheaded, but there was that nut-threatening guy from ↵last week on an indie site. I wonder if that place has anything ↵interesting to say? ↵

↵
↵⇥We are in for a long long year again. And to be honest next year will ↵⇥not be any better. This years excuse is no depth. Next years excuse will ↵⇥be we are young. When (and I keep asking this same question year in and ↵⇥year out) will we stop taking these excuses and DEMAND Auburn must be a ↵⇥better team and compete instead of showing up once every 5 or 6 years. ↵⇥Auburn needs to demand more of its football team and become competitive ↵⇥every year. ↵
↵

↵Ah, yes. Demand excellence. The quintessential message board war: ↵"sunshine blowers" versus "demand excellencers"; it ↵is by our discontent with the state of the program and our typing on the ↵internet that we will drive mediocrity into the sea. ↵

↵

↵And I bet this ↵lady wishes she was an Oregon ↵fan: ↵

↵
↵⇥Chizik sucks. ↵⇥
↵⇥I want the $300 I spent on tickets and $400 on airfare refunded. ↵⇥And $5 for the greasy funnel cake. ↵⇥
↵⇥When I get the total of health care expenses from sitting in ↵⇥sub-zero temp, I'll add that to the bill. ↵⇥
↵⇥Lowder picked this a------ out, didn't he? ↵
↵

↵Ma'am, you ate the funnel cake. Don't blame Chizik for that. ↵

↵

↵Hey, I wonder if we can find Arkansas fans listing ↵the collection ↵of horrible calls against them, posting pictures of refs with incriminating ↵blue and orange suits, declaring they'll never ↵chant ESS EEE CEE again, threatening ↵legal action, encouraging ↵fans to bombard ↵the SEC office with phone ↵calls and faxes, ↵asking ↵about refs rigging games, claiming proof of ↵SEC refs rigging games, posting polls ↵about SEC refs rigging games, and wondering if they'll ever hear ↵if the refs get put on the rack? Probably. I'm guessing so. ↵

↵

↵And then there's this ↵guy, who wins the internet this week: ↵

↵
↵⇥ Catharsis ↵⇥Thread ↵⇥< on: October 18, 2009, 08:55:06 PM > ↵⇥I've held it in long enough. I've stewed and steamed. ↵⇥I've cried, cussed, and complained. I've watched and watched again ↵⇥and the game always ends the same. Nothing I can do will alter ↵⇥what has been done. I am a victim of circumstances beyond my ↵⇥control. I have reached a depth of hopelessness and despair that I ↵⇥have not seen since November of 1998. I am distraught, and words ↵⇥cannot express the sorrow I feel for a kicker who must surely feel worse ↵⇥than I do. Nor can words express the hate I feel for the striped ↵⇥demons who haunt my existence. ↵⇥There is but one way to ease the suffering that I feel. And ↵⇥that chance is this. Beat Ole Miss. It is the only thing ↵⇥that will assuage my grief. I have faith, I have hope, now let's ↵⇥roll. ↵
↵

↵That is college football. Until next week. ↵

↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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