Updated throughout the day with quick takes from staff.
Everybody hates coach speak, especially in football. In most cases, coach speak is relegated to a few seconds at halftime, after the game or the mid-week press conference. But as much as we hate it, it comes and goes as quickly as any sound bite. Well, sometimes we get coach speak with enough funny lines to make a beer commercial. But it's gone in 30-seconds or less. Coach speak is fleeting – until it lands inside the booth for a season of Monday Night Football.
Jon Gruden is the exact opposite of Tony Kornheiser. Gruden's football intensity rivals Kornheiser's nonchalance for the sport. His knowledge of the game was supposed to add more football to the telecast at the expense of what Kornheiser brought, be it humor or historical context or love of Favrian storylines.
It was obvious after three years that Kornheiser's role in ESPN's Monday Night booth was superfluous at best, bothersome at worst. Six games into the season, in a totally different way, Gruden's role has found the same fate.
Gruden is totally unnecessary. And I blame coach speak.
They've had a lot 'a injuries. They've had injuries to their key players. I'm talking about their 'juice' – their most critical players. LaDainian Tomlinson, where's the finger roll? Look at this guy, one touchdown every game he plays. And Shawne Merriman, they call him Lights Out. The sack dance, the fire and brimstone of Shawne Merriman, they've been lacking that.My three sons called me today and they said, 'dad, is Tomlinson and Merriman playin'?' Boys, you can stay up late tonight. They're going for the Chargers.
Perhaps they should stay up late to study grammar. I understand it's not easy to talk on live television, but this is the standup they can prepare days in advance. Going back to Kornheiser, the pregame opener was the only time he really proved his worth in the booth, with excellent essays discussing the game's storylines. Now we get 'is Tomlinson and Merriman playin'?'
But that's coach speak. Who cares if it's grammatically correct? It's the conviction of the statement that matters, right? It turns out, who cares if it's factually correct either:
Well San Diego knows it's a two-possession game. And they have gotta move the ball quickly in position to get either a field goal or a touchdown to give themselves a chance to set up an onside kick. But Philip Rivers has his work cut out for him right now. Denver has not given up a point in the fourth quarter ... all year.Incredible. In-credible.
Incredible, indeed. And wrong. Denver gave up a fourth-quarter touchdown to Cincinnati in the first week of the season that almost cost them a game until their miraculous last-second touchdown. Mike Tirico tried to help Gruden by giving Denver's defensive numbers in the second half of games this year, but the mistake was out there.
Coach speak. The information doesn't need to be right, as long as it sounds right. Right?
The biggest problem with Gruden is that, per coach speak, everything is superlative. Darren Sproles is an 'amazing kick returner.' He called Denver running back Correll Buckhalter an 'outstanding receiver.' Buckhalter has less than 100 catches in his nine-year career.
At the end of the game, when Tirico openly apologized to Denver quarterback Kyle Orton for thinking he wouldn't be a good fit with the Broncos (or any team), Gruden chimed in, "You like a guy that wins or throws the ball? This guy's a winner."
Coaches say whatever they think sounds right at the time and Gruden is great at that. When ESPN showed a Ron Jaworski montage of three, five and seven step drops, Jaws lauded the mentoring of legendary coach Sid Gillman with teaching him not just the art of throwing, but also the art of quarterbacking. Gruden had to chime in:
You talk about Sid Gillman, you're talking about a guy who's had a lot of hands in a lot of football. I mean, it's chilling to think that you played for him ... Sid Gillman, what a football coach. Had a chance to meet Don Coryell a few nights ago. All the people that Sid Gillman has touched in this business – it's amazing.
Gruden's performance through six games has been chilling. It's amazing to think about his performance. It's incredible, really.
People in the industry talked about how great Gruden would be in the Monday Night booth because he's always been so good on TV as a guest. Yes, because he's a coach. He can smile and say nothing and the media interviewing him will smile and ask nothing back. He has a great personality, as a coach. But he's not a media person, and he's not all that great in the booth. Sure, in 10 years he'd work himself into being one of the best in the game. Then he'd be ready for prime time and Monday Night Football. But by all accounts, Gruden is headed back to the sidelines next year. It doesn't matter how good Gruden gets in the next 10 weeks at calling games, he's still going to fall back into the same old coach speak.
And that's because he's a coach. Matt Millen is waiting in the pregame wings to take over for Gruden as soon as the Redskins, Panthers, Rams or one of a host of teams looking for new coaches next year hires him. Here's a pre-emptive plea to ESPN. There's nothing wrong with a two-man booth. Jaws can handle the analysis himself. He's actually quite good, and while he didn't recently coach in the National Football League, that's okay. We're kinda tired of all the coach speak.
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
23 comments
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oh god not mat millen. jaws is the best in the business. more jaws. my friends and i can call a game better than what mnf has been offering up these last few years from the gruden chair and i mean that. nobody could possibly be any worse than dan dierdorf by the way, he has no business anywhere close to a microphone.
by scurds on Oct 20, 2009 2:57 PM EDT reply actions
Kornheiser was ABC’s attempt to channel Cosell. Didn’t work so well.
I don’t mind Gruden, but I also wouldn’t mind if he was gone.
As a Lions fan, I can assure you that if you promote Millen, ESPN will alienate the tenth largest TV market in the nation. We DESPISE Matt Millen in Detroit. If that isn’t their concern, then it isn’t.
What’s wrong with just Tirico and Jaws? What great insight would be missing if just those two were in the booth? Until the next incarnation of Cosell reveals itself, MNF really isn’t going to gain much with a third man in the booth.
by umich4life on Oct 20, 2009 3:10 PM EDT reply actions
I can’t stand that look and those pathetic Chucky dolls they had in Oakland! Al Michaels is the best anouncer in football he’s been great for alot of years.
by Yanks919 on Oct 20, 2009 3:45 PM EDT reply actions
I agree completely with this article. Gruden is useless in the booth. The very few unique insights he has are overwhelmed by the nonsense he spews. Obviously there is a good chance that he gets a coaching job in the near future and I can’t wait for that to happen. When it does I do not think they need a third person in the booth because Tirico and Jaworski can handle the job more than adequately. I have noticed that three-people announcing teams are becoming more and more common and I really don’t like them at all. In any sport !
by Marvin Wankerstein on Oct 20, 2009 6:38 PM EDT reply actions
I’ll take Gruden over that a$$ Kornheiser anyday.
by chi34 on Oct 20, 2009 6:45 PM EDT reply actions
Matt Millen might make a good announcer but how can he have any credibility as a color commentator? He proved in seven years that he can’t recognize talent, can’t manage a team and he was the architect of the worst team ever. Who wants to listen to a proven, long term loser? Who can believe a word he says when he assesses talent or game plans? He has proved he knows nothing. He was dreadful when he had to put his money where his mouth was. Anyone but that bum, and I don’t live in Detroit so it’s not personal.
by gabeaux on Oct 20, 2009 7:07 PM EDT reply actions
I like Gruden. He’s a young Madden.
by Blalock6 on Oct 20, 2009 8:23 PM EDT reply actions
Vermeil was great in the booth. Tirico is awful, too.
by ShaunPhillips on Oct 20, 2009 10:04 PM EDT reply actions
anybody but dennis miller.he was the worst ever
by terryt on Oct 20, 2009 10:30 PM EDT reply actions
Kornheiser-no; Millen-no; Dennis Miller- no no; Jaws-yes for sure. He’s the guy.
by josephirving on Oct 20, 2009 11:16 PM EDT reply actions
I like Gruden. I liked Miller except he kept using analogies nobody but him knew what he was talikng about. I kept hoping jaws would throw Kornhasuer out the window of the booth. I think jaws and Trico alone would be just fine too, as I’m sure gruden will be coaching somewhere soon…maybe Washington???
by elwayfan3251 on Oct 21, 2009 4:11 AM EDT reply actions
I like Gruden, think he does a good job. Its football by the way, how grammatically correct do you need to be?
by toeknee475 on Oct 21, 2009 10:50 AM EDT reply actions
Give me Gruden and his "coach speak" anyday. I’d rather hear that than…a comedian/polictical talk show host/sports columnist etc. This is football people!!!!
by ldukea on Oct 21, 2009 1:37 PM EDT reply actions
I have enjoyed having Gruden in the booth. Now we just need to keep Tirico from making so many mistakes.
by sunrise2dusk on Oct 21, 2009 1:49 PM EDT reply actions
Jon Gruden won’t stay in the booth for long. I’m sure he will get his chance to coach again soon. He doesn’t have the broadcaster’s silver tongue, nor an appropriate mastery of grammar as you note. Aside from professional broadcasters like Michaels (who is tops), Jaws, Phil Simms, Madden and Steve Young all come to mind as having the ability to speak smoothly and offer informed commentary in the booth as color men. Troy Aikman has improved, but he is still a tad boring. Cris Collinsworth speaks very well but annoys most people. I always loathed Chucky when he was coaching because he looked like his head was about to explode (plus he coached my rivals), but as a woman, I must say he is kind of hot.
by atlgirlfan on Oct 21, 2009 3:31 PM EDT reply actions
Gruden is still looking for jobs, so it’s basically one long interview for him. He doesn’t come across very intelligent, so I’m not hiring him.
by daymonz on Oct 21, 2009 3:33 PM EDT reply actions
I think Gruden’s only problem is he wants to get back into coaching. He can’t be overly critical to players and teams who might be potential landing spots for head coaching position. I agree, he could develope into a Madden-esque color commentator. But, let’s not get carried away… Madden is the greatest of all time. And, it’s not even close. Madden’s personality and anectodal stories were unparalleled.
by crd0723 on Oct 21, 2009 4:06 PM EDT reply actions
Chuckie certainly has more of a place in the MNF booth than Kornheiser.
Not smooth, but I like what he does for the presentation. A bit more study on his part might help. There are "Smooth" announcers out there that make the same mistakes. He is a roughneck, but then again Football is a rough game.
by christoff56 on Oct 21, 2009 5:03 PM EDT reply actions
I actually like Gruden, as a football guy. I don’t care about hyperbole, but I do hope that he gets his facts straight. Tirico is awful. I would like to see Gary Thorne (sp.) and Mike Mayock. Maybe Jimmy Johnson would add some flavor as Mayock’s sidekick to make it a trio. Everyone is big on Collinsworth, but I can’t stand that dude.
by EersNDawgs on Oct 21, 2009 7:44 PM EDT reply actions
I think Gruden should stay. He’s the best they have had since they changed MNF. And I agree with EersNDawgs, Collinsworth sucks.
by tooterscott on Oct 22, 2009 11:29 AM EDT reply actions
I don’t mind Gruden that much either except I’d agree he needs t oget hs facts straight. Bit concerning to know he’s saying things that are factually wrong that he should know.
Having said that, he’s at least fun to listen to and he’s not annoying. Agreed that Madden was the best by far, miss that guy in the booth!
Interesting to see this article actually. For the first time that I can ever remember in my life, I was watching the game this last week and found myself turning down the volume for the first time because one of the commentators was so annoying. Who wa sit? Dan Dierdorf. By FAR the most annoying commentator out there. Next in line is Collinsworth but I think it’s something about his voice – sounds arrogant. Millen is annoying as well. Steer clear of Dierdorf though, that guy has got to go.
by teben33 on Oct 23, 2009 12:38 PM EDT reply actions
First of all, the writer of this piece couldn’t be more wrong, but thanks for your opinion. The insight from a SB winning coach from a guy with an ounce of personality is better than anyone we’ve heard from for a long time. Dude, watch a game! For the morons who say they could do a better job, analyzing a game with his little friends, yeah right. Do you have a clue what an Oklahoma-black stunt with duo Jacks and kings (Mike) means? Well Gruden does, because he ran it against various team. So, Yeah I doubt it, go back to HS. Third of all, Cornball (Kornheiser) was TERRIBLE with a heavy dose of AWFUL. All his input was scripted. What an idiot!!!!! For all of you who turn down your tv you probably don’t like pbp/or analysts to begin with. You’re probably the idiots who support playoff-less college FB. Get a grip!
by avschamp on Oct 23, 2009 1:57 PM EDT reply actions
What?? Gruden is awesome. Much better than Kornhole.
by RoboToad on Oct 24, 2009 2:26 PM EDT reply actions
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