The Japanese Swimming Federation is the Real No Fun League

It looks as though Michael Phelps will eventually take all the fun out of swimming in the United States, at least if Japan serves as any guide. Japanese Swimming Federation officials, citing incidents in which swimmers have gotten in trouble for using marijuana (they must have gotten it from the Muppets), have enacted extreme regulations about personal conduct, ruling that swimmers could face five-year suspensions or even lifetime bans for such infractions as dying their hair, wearing earrings or decorating their fingernails.

George Steinbrenner looks on approvingly, of course.

What these aesthetic changes have to do with weed is anyone's guess, but for old people they're still apparently vague indicators of deviant behavior. The JSF executive director defended the changes, claiming that they are standards that the U.S. and Australia have already set. Funny, I don't see Michael Phelps getting a lifetime ban, and he's one of those aberrant kids who got into the wacky weed. Maybe we have to wait until he dyes his hair for the hammer to fall.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.