Forthcoming Book Contains Agassi Meth Admission

Wanna play rock ’n roll tennis? GUITAR SOLO AND HAIRSPRAY.

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It’s a lot easier when you’re zonked on pure methamphetamine, evidently. According to SI’s Richard Deitsch, a forthcoming book excerpt in the magazine will include an admission by Andre Agassi that he took crystal meth during his playing career. This revelation stands in contradiction to prior comments made by Agassi about tennis players using drugs for unfair advantages, but be honest: even John McEnroe was surprised to find out he was taking steroids, and so were you after you took a good hard look at his emaciated frame.

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What would crystal meth help with, specifically? Answers: Increased reaction time, endurance, and an ability to appreciate the music of Insane Clown Posse. The first two would definitely help with tennis, while the third just improves your quality of life as a whole, really.

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