New York's Hilarious, Fascinating Sham Sports Profile

The best website on the internet is ShamSports.com. You can have your YouTube, Cracked.com, and Wikipedia pages, MY favorite way to waste time these days is to comb through ShamSports' delightful team salary pages. Did you know Rashard Lewis is making $22 million in 2012? No? Then you obviously don't read enough Sham Sports.

Fun Sham Sports facts for all the Atlantic Division teams:

  • Samuel Dalembert will make more than 12 million dollars-a-year for the next two years. Ordinarily, I'd see some injustice there, but since Dalembert's Haitian, I feel like we're seeing that contract is part of some reparations package being put forth by the universe. At least that's what I tell myself.
  • Boston's Rasheed Wallace will make more than $6 million-a-year for the next 3 seasons. He will be 38 years-old during that final season. Last year, he played in just 66 games and and averaged only 12 points. I feel like these things should be mentioned in light of the above contract details.
  • Hedo Turkoglu's real name is Hidayet. And he's making what!?
  • Bobby Simmons will make $11 million dollars this season. Interesting. But will he score more than 11 points, 11 times?

But by far my favorite Sham Sports page is that of the New York Knicks, where you can see either the makings of a future dynasty, or a naive blueprint gone awry, depending where you fall on the optimism spectrum. Obviously, the Knicks aren't exactly a juggernaut going into '09, but after that they're pretty much a blank slate. Granted, I understand this was the plan all along, but to see it on paper? I mean, good lord. Just check it out.

My favorite part? Amid the stripped-bare future for the Knicks, we still Eddy Curry's massive, bloated contract protruding out from the balance sheet. The would be the same Eddy Curry who last week tore a muscle that exists in only 40% of humans. Muscles, buffet spreads, salary caps: If it exists, Eddy Curry's probably ruined it.

(Enormous hat tip to Sham, and Sham Sports for aiding in my procrastination efforts all summer long. Awesome.)

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