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Dated Cultural Punchline Joined Crabtree to Sign Contract

by Michael Tunison • Oct 7, 2009 3:45 PM EDT

The Michael Crabtree business has finally come to its long-awaited end now that he's signed a six-year deal with the 49ers. No doubt it took a steady hand to guide such delicate, long-running negotiations. A sagacious person schooled in the art of financial discipline.

Someone like M.C. Hammer.

[Here's where the record scratch would come in.]

49ers beat reporter Matt Maiocco of the Press Democrat in Santa Rosa was the first to notice the bizarre presence of Stanley Kirk Burrell, better known to the world as once-megastar M.C. Hammer, during the contract talks between Crabtree and the Niners.

And wouldn't it be more wonderful if every high-profile player brought along with them an incongruous and faded novelty rap celebrity from the early '90s to contract negotiations. Albert Haynesworth could have had Kris Kross with him when he signed for over $100 million with the Redskins. Terrell Owens brings Tag Team in tow to Bills headquarters. Maybe even Skee-Lo.

It wasn't all stunt, however. Hammer is friends with Deion Sanders, who has been a mentor to Crabtree, and he's close with Eugene Parker, Crabtree's agent.

Aw c'mon, don't ruin our funny juxtaposition with rational explanations.

(H/T to Shutdown Corner)

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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Comments

Now Hammer will help Crabtree blow through all his money in the next twelve months. He’s going to need another hundred or so idiot cousins on the payroll.

by ChiAdam on Oct 7, 2009 5:36 PM EDT reply actions

This makes me dislike Crabtree even more, check out the NFL Week 5 Power Rankings at www.theidealsportsblog.com

by simply2amazing on Oct 7, 2009 7:52 PM EDT reply actions

This story gets better every day.

Hammer’s too legit to quit and Crabtree is too stupid to recognize.

by canebred0017 on Oct 7, 2009 8:55 PM EDT reply actions

sanfranblew it.

shouldn’t sign a player that wll not help at all this year.

over under——-

crabbush, 25 catches, 2 TDs.

hardly worth millions guarunteed.

craptree is a loser, and now so are the niner’s.

a 42

by timpani25 on Oct 7, 2009 9:25 PM EDT reply actions

If I was the Niners I would have pulled at all the stops and tryed to trade Crabtree for a first rounder next year (High or Low). This guy is a knucklehead and ego maniac wide receivers bring teams down more than they help them. Especially this hardworking, 49ers team.

Singeltary straightened out Vernon Davis but it sounds like Crabtree is going to put up a much grander fight.

by astrotown on Oct 8, 2009 12:19 AM EDT reply actions

Color me an optimist, but maybe; just maybe, MC Hammer can be a great mentor for a young suddenly-wealthy person. If Hammer learned his lesson, he can disuade Crabtree out of several Bentlys, guilded urinals in the master bathroom, entourages with dozens of hangers on, etc.

If not, and it all comes crashing down, I am sure Stanley can introduce him to ‘his guy’ at cashforgolddotcom.

by umich4life on Oct 8, 2009 10:14 AM EDT reply actions

The 49ers could not trade his rights even if they wanted to. League rules.

by ChiAdam on Oct 8, 2009 11:00 AM EDT reply actions

singletary will pull his pants down and call crabtree into his office. then singletary will delve deeply into crabtree’s relationship with his mother for awhile, put his pants back on and head for the practice field without taking his meds again.

by scurds on Oct 8, 2009 11:08 AM EDT reply actions