When You Think "Infamous Hair Swoosh," You Think Alabama

When You Think "Infamous Hair Swoosh," You Think Alabama

In retrospect, the only thing surprising about this story is that it took until 2009 for some fey bowtie-wearing Alabama fan with ridiculous hair and an air of old money to post a video of himself talking smack to Ole Miss fans, get outed on the internet as a budding male model and bowtie entrepreneur, field death threats, and end up on the local news:

That's right: "infamous hair swoosh." I bet you a dollar there are thousands of fantasy football teams and plastic guitar rock bands across the south named "Infamous Hair Swoosh" by this time next year.

JT Bowtie, a.k.a. Taylor Fortinberry, describes himself as a "fun, outgoing type guy who likes to have fun" which means he should really be tottering around on five-inch stilettos and coquettishly describing himself in search of an MRS degree instead of talking smack on the internet about football, but I guess you take your internet celebrities where you an find them. The local news describes Taylor as an "Internet Personality," which is the lowest form of personality one can be. Taylor has an interesting definition of offline humble, saying the Ole Miss game is "going to be close" mere moments before predicting 'Bama wins by "at least two touchdowns."

But let's focus on the real travesty here: as this guy is talking about the various uncomplimentary things people have said about his hair, he mentions that "every '80s bad guy" gets brought up as a comparison, during which time the TV station is running a clip of Zack Morris. Zack Morris! What is your problem with Saved By The Bell, anonymous local news producer?

The comparison to '80s high school villians is dead-on, though:

That's not a parody, it's a parody of a parody: that guy is Tad from that South Park episode. The most disappointing bit is that this hubbub isn't even over something good. It's just some guy in sunglasses calling Ole Miss fans white trash, which is tame by the standards of college football fans.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.