Let's Just Move The Whole World For Miley Cyrus, Gamecocks

South Carolina football is powerless in the face of Miley Cyrus, whose concert is on the same night as the Clemson/South Carolina game. The game had been originally scheduled for the evening, but Columbia city officials finagled a move of the game to noon in order to encourage people to spend more money in the city of Columbia—something the Palmetto Scoop suspects has something to do with the Miley Cyrus concert the same night.

The conspiracy is believable due to the improbability of anyone spending more time in Columbia than necessary. Therefore, it had to be the Cyrus concert prompting the time change. The really important thing to get from the article is the answer to a nagging question we’ve been wondering about ourselves:

UPDATE: A USC fraternity allegedly booked the performer Nelly to play at their tailgating spot at night after the game.

Ah, so that’s where Nelly’s been. If he’s making rent at frat parties, then Applebottom Jeans must have hit hard times, indeed.