FIFA Denies Ireland/France Rematch Request

FIFA has denied the request to replay the Ireland/France World Cup qualifier despite Wednesday’s match ending with a goal scored off an admitted Thierry Henry handball assist. While Ireland fails to go through to the World Cup on an officiating error, we should note the French triumphing on a clerical error is a properly absurd victory for a nation proud of its Dadaist art and existentialist philosophy.

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Instead, look at the positive: now you can look forward to France declaring victory despite losing by three goals in an opening round debacle in South Africa, coach Raymond Domenech wearing an enormous papier-mache replica of his own head during matches as a piece of performance art, and Thierry Henry attacking his own goal “to mock the silly conventions of the bourgeoisie.”

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The World Cup needed some abstract art, and if anyone watched the way France played yesterday against a subpar Irish squad, the World Cup now has it.

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