10. The NBA's Dock Ellis

Last week we asked if there was an NBA equivalent to the No Hitter that Dock Ellis threw for Pittsburgh back in the 1970s. This video prompted the investigation. And the answer is no, there’s probably no direct corollary on the pro level, but as my friend Muse pointed out in the comments, Gary Ervin WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP ON COCAINE. And even though that’s the college level, I think that’s got to win.

But what someone else pointed out, and what I’d been secretly considering when I posed the question, was Chris Anderson’s RIDICULOUS performance in the ‘05 Dunk Contest (7:10 mark). It’s unclear whether he was on drugs and unfair to speculate, but he was certainly dealing with a lot of personal problems at that point in life, and it’s not inconcievable. As Kenny Smith explained at the time, “he’s missing a couple ice cubes from his tray.”

But more to the point, wouldn’t an NBA Dunk Contest be the scariest place EVER if you were on drugs?

Think about it: you’ve got ridiculous light shows, people holding up random numbers all around you, Shaq in the front row filming you, some years you have a giant spinning wheel standing beside you, and this little midget Nate Robinson keeps jumping ten feet in the air. I’m not saying Chris Anderson was on acid, but if someone were to participate in a dunk contest on LSD, it’d be the most harrowing experience in human history. That is all.