Les Miles won a national championship two years ago, but in LSU's loss to Ole Miss, he let 17 seconds run off the clock before a fourth and forever play, converted that fourth and forever play with one second left, directed his quarterback to spike the ball, saw the game end on that spike, and denied he knew who called for the spike in the aftermath. Now he's as close to a firing as you can get for someone who had a crystal football above his head two years ago.
I mean, when you run across a post like this ...
< strong>Miles!!!! (Posted on 11/23/09 at 8:48 a.m.)
... and think to yourself only "yep, that's about right," it's bad.
How bad is it? Bad:
We need someone young and famous to die real quick (Posted on 11/23/09 at 8:12 a.m.)
to get every fricking tv channel in the free world to quit talking about how stupid our coaching staff is.
You know it's bad when an actual newspaper columnist says the offensive coaches are "remaking 'Dumb and Dumber'."
More from the wild message board west:
All that anyone needs to know about Miles is this. Even Houston Nutt was sitting there laughing at how stupid our coaches were late in the game. Houston Nutt????????????????
Later in that thread someone calls Miles an "overpaid ambiguity spitter" when things are going poorly, which is a fantastic description for not only Miles but every other coach on the planet.
And some weird lingo:
We currently have the most inept coaching staff in the SEC
I would say the entire nation, but i think our defensive staff is probably better than most. ...
This is disheartening as it is depressing...it all starts from the top.
This program has THE WANT of a new coach.
As we'll see later, it's a day for weird lingo in the SEC. As for Miles, nothing less than an SEC title next year saves his job, he's already done, they're organizing the opposite of the Million Miles March from two years ago, he's Chris Webber, he somehow makes $40k per IQ point, which could still make him a super genius.
Yeah: LSU, easy Tears of Unfathomable Sadness winner this week. The rest of the week in spleen after the jump.
It's never wise to wager facial hair on your team when your team is Michigan State and the other team is Penn State:
So now I have to look like a dumb**** with a mustache ...because I wagered that over the PSU game.
I wagered myself vs two PSU fans for the "Land Grant Mustache." The loser has to grow/keep a mustache for 2 weeks.
This year I lost, but I basically have 2:1 odds going forward. Am I an idiot or was this a good idea?
From everyone else's perspective, it's a fantastic idea. Also it can't be uglier than the Land Grant trophy.
Notre Dame all but sealed Charlie Weis' fate when UConn scored a rushing touchdown that was not called back by a terrible holding flag, and several in the Nation are giving up on life and declaring one of three options to be the only acceptable outcome (emphasis mine):
We love a team on its deathbed. You tell me, if your child were in crisis, would you call the Mayo Clinic or a pediatrician from Davenport who claimed to love kids more than anyone else?
Quit f------ around with my football team. You f---- handed some schmuck alumnus a job he didn't deserve. What did he do with it? He proved he didn't deserve it. He ruined college careers in the process, and he flushed your millions down the toilet.
Quit f------ around. You can choose from three names. Don't deliver the fourth. Bob, Nick, Urban. Oh, you're pissed about 2004? He didn't tell you about his Florida job? What's more important -- you precious sense of decency, or the careers of the student-athletes entrusted to your care? F--- your pride. He can't leave Alabama for less than $6m/yr? Pay it.
This s--- stops now. ND is a joke. Get serious.
And lest anyone think this opinion is not widespread:
A poster the other day said it all, We are the Yankees... of college football. Make Urban Meyer or Stoops an offer they can't refuse. I'm talking a million or two more than what they currently make. And if they do, then you go after Kelly, etc. It's not that complicated, is it?
No, it's not that complicated:
NOTRE DAME: Bob. Urban. We propose that you meld
into one uber-coach named Urbob and take over the Yankees of college
football. It will be like Voltron except ethical.
NOTRE DAME: We're the Yankees of college football.
URBOB: Are you now? That's cute.
NOTRE DAME: So what do you say?
URBOB: No. I realize you are a university and this is therefore physically impossible, but you are high.
NOTRE DAME: I guess I'll hire these pink elephants, then.
And some emo for the road:
We may have just witnessed the end of our program. Not sure we will ever be to deliver what we expect or want. Maybe we need to change or expectations, not change the coach.
Not sure anyone is going to be able to fix this, or even want to try!
That guy has been banned to the deepest levels of Nation hell, no doubt, where he is chewed in one of Pete Carroll's three mouths next to Ty Willingham and Bob Davie.
NC State thought they had a good coach when they pirated a peer institution's top guy, but the Wolfpack languish at 1-6 in the league after another lopsided defeat to Virginia Tech, and the knives are out. Resigned knives, though:
Our BOT [board of trustees] members have no pride, other than Woodward no NCSU administrator has any pride - what do you think will happen?
I love it when decisions come down to people way more successful than "lumberpack3" being simpering jackaninnies incapable of doing what must be done. At this point NC State fans have lived through failed coach after failed coach, and not even canning the top guy brings relief:
And have Fowler lead another search? No thanks. I'm in favor of canning him though.
Who is going to find that coach? Fowler? Get real.
Same theme, more paranoia:
The mass changes at our university need to start at the BOT level. However, the corruption and cronyism at the highest levels of NC State is so entrenched, I don't think there's anything those of us at the grassroots level can do...except cut off the money, which I've already decided to do. Maybe in my lifetime NC State can return to what it was in the '70s.
Just a few years ago, no one would bat an eye at Rutgers losing to Syracuse. Or losing to anyone, really. It's a tribute to Greg Schiano that disappointment can actually coexist with Rutgers football. But it does:
Anthony Davis? Dead to me. Let him go and steal money from some NFL team. Talent only goes so far. Rutgers would be better off with Forst or Stapes, or anyone who actually gives a damn when the games aren't on ESPN prime time. ...
Now, if you will excuse me, I can't type any longer as men in white coats just kicked down the front door, and are securing the restraints and straight jacket as I type this very sentence. Hopefully, they can take me off to a happy and magical place where I can forget all about the events that just transpired.
Unfortunately, when you're a 7-3 Big East team, that magical place is Toronto.
Oklahoma fans are resorting to sarcastic successories posters in the aftermath of a 41-13 housing by Texas Tech:
But wait, there's more!
Absolutely PatheticThis is getting really old, really fast. Listening to "overrated" chants from mediocre, mid-major student sections. Watching our teams come completely unraveled in big games, under adversity, or on the road. "Choke-lahoma"? I'm sorry, but at this point I would have to absolutely agree with that nickname.
Not sure how you choke in a 28-point loss, but seriously folks, they're angry in Norman, and the failure doesn't stop at football's edge. The men's basketball team gets the facepalm gif as they got housed at VCU 82-69. And we're back to the pride thing again:
It's all about pride.
Play with some pride Sooners! Play like you want to win the games! Play with some intensity for once!
Stop refusing to try, you goofs!
Virtually nothing soul-destroying happened in the Pac-10 this week. Stanford did gack up a two-touchdown lead against Cal, but they did that after back-to-back wins over Oregon and USC, so Stanford fans are generally in Harbaugh's corner. Right?
WHAT IT WILL TAKE...
... TO WIN A TITLE.
STANFORD COULDN'T STOP KAL, OSU, OREGON OR ARIZONA. A CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM NEEDS TO DO MORE THAN SCORE A BUNCH OF POINTS.
SPEED EXPOSES STANFORD. DUH. ...
SADLY, IT DOESN'T LOOK MUCH BRIGHTER NEXT YEAR.
... than this year, when the team went from 4-8 to an eight- or nine-win season with a blowout of USC? You're Stanford! You can't admit anyone that wouldn't actually get in to virtually any school that's not Stanford!
Georgia's endured an unexpected dip this year, and it's shorted out the brain cells of various bloggers. The Georgia Sports Blog envisions a new sort of biblical plague:
You shipment of fail has arrived. Look at the weed eaters falling from the sky! I'm too pissed to type, and I'm too annoyed to read anyone else's rants either. Shreveport here we come.
I hope this was as delightfully impenetrable for everyone else. A googling turns up a reference to the Poulan Weedeater Bowl made by UGA radio icon Larry Munson, so ... yeah. There you go. Shreveport. Weedeaters raining from the sky. Cats and dogs living together. Mass hysteria. The Georgia Sports Blog gets to be Scott Tenorman of the Week for introducing us to weedeaters and lingo.
Elsewhere in Dawg misery, Get The Picture feels very A Clockwork Orange about all this:
There were times in the second half when it felt as if we were watching a controlled experiment - you know, what would it be like if you combined the craven mindset Georgia often has when it plays Florida with a lack of focus against a clearly inferior opponent? Well, four turnovers later, you get a staggering 34-27 loss despite outgaining the other team by a mere 227 yards.
Kyle King, for his part, declares Chicken Little an optimist.
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.