This Week In Schadenfreude: Nov. 23

↵Les Miles won a national championship two years ago, but in ↵LSU's loss to Ole Miss, he let 17 seconds run off the ↵clock before a fourth and forever play, converted that fourth and ↵forever play with one second left, directed his quarterback to spike the ball, saw the ↵game end on that spike, and denied he knew who called for the spike in ↵the aftermath. Now he's as close to a firing as you can get for someone who had a crystal football above his head two years ago. ↵

↵

↵I mean, when you run across a post like this ... ↵

↵
↵⇥

↵⇥< ↵⇥strong>Miles!!!!   (Posted on 11/23/09 at 8:48 ↵⇥a.m.) ↵⇥

↵⇥
↵⇥WTF? ↵
↵

↵... and think to yourself only "yep, that's about right," ↵it's bad. ↵

↵

↵How bad is it? Bad: ↵

↵
↵⇥We need someone young and famous ↵⇥to die real quick ↵⇥(Posted on 11/23/09 at 8:12 a.m.) ↵⇥
↵⇥to get every fricking tv channel in the free world ↵⇥to quit talking about how stupid our coaching staff is. ↵⇥ ↵
↵

↵You know it's bad when an actual newspaper columnist says the ↵offensive coaches are "remaking 'Dumb and Dumber'." ↵

↵

↵More from the wild message board west: ↵

↵
↵⇥All that anyone needs to know about Miles is this. Even Houston Nutt ↵⇥was sitting there laughing at how stupid our coaches were late in the ↵⇥game. Houston Nutt???????????????? ↵
↵

↵Later in that thread someone calls Miles an "overpaid ambiguity ↵spitter" when things are going poorly, which is a fantastic ↵description for not only Miles but every other coach on the planet. ↵

↵

↵And some weird lingo: ↵

↵
↵⇥

↵⇥We currently have the most inept ↵⇥coaching staff in the SEC ↵⇥

↵⇥

↵⇥I would say the entire nation, but i think ↵⇥our defensive staff is probably better than most. ... ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥This is disheartening as it is depressing...it all starts from the ↵⇥top. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥This program has THE WANT of a new coach. ↵⇥

↵
↵

↵As we'll see later, it's a day for weird lingo in the SEC. As for ↵Miles, nothing less than an SEC title next year saves his ↵job, he's already done, they're organizing the opposite of the Million Miles March from two years ↵ago, he's Chris Webber, he somehow makes $40k per IQ point, which could still make him ↵a super genius. ↵

↵

↵Yeah: LSU, easy Tears of Unfathomable Sadness winner ↵this week. The rest of the week in spleen after the jump. ↵

↵ ↵

BIG TEN

↵

↵It's never wise to wager facial hair on your team when your team ↵is Michigan State and the other team is Penn State: ↵

↵
↵⇥So now I have to look like a dumb**** ↵⇥with a mustache ↵⇥...because I wagered that over the PSU ↵⇥game. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥I wagered myself vs two PSU fans for the "Land Grant ↵⇥Mustache." The loser has to grow/keep a mustache for 2 weeks. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥This year I lost, but I basically have 2:1 odds going forward. Am ↵⇥I an idiot or was this a good idea? ↵
↵

↵From everyone else's perspective, it's a fantastic idea. Also it ↵can't be uglier than the Land Grant trophy. ↵

↵

NOTRE DAME

↵

↵Notre Dame all but sealed Charlie Weis' fate when ↵UConn scored a rushing touchdown that was not called back by a terrible ↵holding flag, and several in the Nation are giving up on life and ↵declaring one of three options to be the only acceptable outcome (emphasis mine): ↵

↵
↵⇥We love a team on its ↵⇥deathbed. ↵⇥You tell me, if your child were in ↵⇥crisis, would you call the Mayo Clinic or a pediatrician from Davenport ↵⇥who claimed to love kids more than anyone else? ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Quit f------ around with my football team. You f---- handed some ↵⇥schmuck alumnus a job he didn't deserve. What did he do with it? He ↵⇥proved he didn't deserve it. He ruined college careers in the process, ↵⇥and he flushed your millions down the toilet. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Quit f------ around. You can choose from three names. ↵⇥Don't deliver the fourth. Bob, Nick, Urban. Oh, you're pissed ↵⇥about 2004? He didn't tell you about his Florida job? What's more ↵⇥important -- you precious sense of decency, or the careers of the ↵⇥student-athletes entrusted to your care? F--- your pride. He can't leave ↵⇥Alabama for less than $6m/yr? Pay it. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥This s--- stops now. ND is a joke. Get serious. ↵
↵

↵And lest anyone think this opinion is not widespread: ↵

↵
↵⇥A poster the other ↵⇥day said it all, We are the Yankees... ↵⇥of college football. Make Urban ↵⇥Meyer or Stoops an offer they can't refuse. I'm talking a million or two ↵⇥more than what they currently make. And if they do, then you go after ↵⇥Kelly, etc. It's not that complicated, is it? ↵
↵

↵No, it's not that complicated: ↵

↵

↵NOTRE DAME: Bob. Urban. We propose that you meld ↵into one uber-coach named Urbob and take over the Yankees of college ↵football. It will be like Voltron except ethical. ↵
↵URBOB: USC? ↵
↵NOTRE DAME: We're the Yankees of college ↵football. ↵
↵URBOB: Are you now? That's cute. ↵
↵NOTRE DAME: So what do you say? ↵
↵URBOB: No. I realize you are a university and ↵this is therefore physically impossible, but you are high. ↵
↵NOTRE DAME: I guess I'll hire these pink ↵elephants, then. ↵

↵

↵And some emo for the road: ↵

↵
↵⇥We may have just ↵⇥witnessed the end of our program. Not sure ↵⇥we will ever be to deliver what we ↵⇥expect or want. Maybe we need to change or expectations, not change the ↵⇥coach. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Not sure anyone is going to be able to fix this, or even want to ↵⇥try! ↵
↵

↵That guy has been banned to the deepest levels of Nation hell, no ↵doubt, where he is chewed in one of Pete Carroll's three mouths next to ↵Ty Willingham and Bob Davie. ↵

↵

ACC

↵

↵NC State thought they had a good coach when they ↵pirated a peer institution's top guy, but the Wolfpack languish at 1-6 ↵in the league after another lopsided defeat to Virginia Tech, and the knives are out. Resigned knives, though: ↵

↵
↵⇥Our BOT [board of trustees] members have no pride, other than ↵⇥Woodward no NCSU administrator has any pride - what do you think will ↵⇥happen? ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥NOTHING ↵
↵

↵I love it when decisions come down to people way more successful than ↵"lumberpack3" being simpering jackaninnies incapable of doing ↵what must be done. At this point NC State fans have lived through failed ↵coach after failed coach, and not even canning the top guy brings relief: ↵

↵
↵⇥And have Fowler lead another search? No thanks. I'm in favor of ↵⇥canning him though. ↵
↵

↵Same theme: ↵

↵
↵⇥Who is going to find that coach? Fowler? Get real. ↵
↵

↵Same theme, more paranoia: ↵

↵
↵⇥The mass changes at our university need to start at the BOT level. ↵⇥However, the corruption and cronyism at the highest levels of NC State ↵⇥is so entrenched, I don't think there's anything those of us at the ↵⇥grassroots level can do...except cut off the money, which I've already ↵⇥decided to do. Maybe in my lifetime NC State can return to what it was ↵⇥in the '70s. ↵
↵

↵Etc. ↵

↵

BIG EAST

↵

↵Just a few years ago, no one would bat an eye at ↵Rutgers losing to Syracuse. Or losing to anyone, ↵really. It's a tribute to Greg Schiano that disappointment can actually ↵coexist with Rutgers football. But it does: ↵

↵
↵⇥Anthony Davis? Dead to me. Let him go and steal money from some NFL ↵⇥team. Talent only goes so far. Rutgers would be better off with Forst or ↵⇥Stapes, or anyone who actually gives a damn when the games aren't on ↵⇥ESPN prime time. ... ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Now, if you will excuse me, I can't type any longer as men in white ↵⇥coats just kicked down the front door, and are securing the restraints ↵⇥and straight jacket as I type this very sentence. Hopefully, they can ↵⇥take me off to a happy and magical place where I can forget all about ↵⇥the events that just transpired. ↵
↵

↵Unfortunately, when you're a 7-3 Big East team, that magical ↵place is Toronto. ↵

↵

BIG 12

↵

↵Oklahoma fans are resorting to sarcastic successories posters in the ↵aftermath of a 41-13 housing by Texas Tech: ↵

↵

↵ ↵

↵

↵But wait, there's more! ↵

↵
↵⇥

Absolutely Pathetic

↵⇥This is getting really old, really fast. Listening to ↵⇥"overrated" chants from mediocre, mid-major student sections. ↵⇥Watching our teams come completely unraveled in big games, under ↵⇥adversity, or on the road. "Choke-lahoma"? I'm sorry, but at ↵⇥this point I would have to absolutely agree with that nickname. ↵
↵

↵Not sure how you choke in a 28-point loss, but seriously folks, ↵they're angry in Norman, and the failure doesn't stop at football's ↵edge. The men's basketball team gets the facepalm gif as they got housed ↵at VCU 82-69. And we're back to the pride thing again: ↵

↵
↵⇥It's all about pride. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Play with some pride Sooners! Play like you want to win the games! ↵⇥Play with some intensity for once! ↵
↵

↵Stop refusing to try, you goofs! ↵

↵

PAC-10

↵

↵Virtually nothing soul-destroying happened in the Pac-10 this week. ↵Stanford did gack up a two-touchdown lead against Cal, ↵but they did that after back-to-back wins over Oregon and USC, so ↵Stanford fans are generally in Harbaugh's corner. Right? ↵

↵
↵⇥

WHAT IT WILL TAKE...

↵⇥
↵⇥... TO WIN A TITLE. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥STANFORD COULDN'T STOP KAL, OSU, OREGON OR ARIZONA. A CHAMPIONSHIP ↵⇥TEAM NEEDS TO DO MORE THAN SCORE A BUNCH OF POINTS. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥SPEED EXPOSES STANFORD. DUH. ... ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥SADLY, IT DOESN'T LOOK MUCH BRIGHTER NEXT YEAR. ↵
↵

↵... than this year, when the team went from 4-8 to an eight- or ↵nine-win ↵season with a blowout of USC? You're Stanford! You can't admit anyone ↵that wouldn't actually get in to virtually any school that's not ↵Stanford! ↵

↵

SEC

↵

↵Georgia's endured an unexpected dip this year, and ↵it's shorted out the brain cells of various bloggers. The Georgia Sports ↵Blog envisions a new sort of biblical plague: ↵

↵
↵⇥

LOOK ↵⇥AT THE WEEDEATERS FALLING FROM THE SKY!

↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥You shipment of fail has arrived. Look at the weed eaters falling ↵⇥from the sky! I'm too pissed to type, and I'm too annoyed to read anyone ↵⇥else's rants either. Shreveport here we come. ↵
↵

↵I hope this was as delightfully impenetrable for everyone else. A ↵googling turns up a reference to the Poulan Weedeater Bowl made by UGA ↵radio icon Larry Munson, so ... yeah. There you go. Shreveport. ↵Weedeaters raining from the sky. Cats and dogs living together. Mass hysteria. The ↵Georgia Sports Blog gets to be Scott Tenorman ↵of the Week for introducing us to weedeaters and lingo. ↵

↵

↵Elsewhere in Dawg misery, Get The Picture feels very A Clockwork Orange about all this: ↵

↵
↵⇥There were times in the second half when it felt as if we were ↵⇥watching a controlled experiment - you know, what would it be like if ↵⇥you combined the craven mindset Georgia often has when it plays Florida ↵⇥with a lack of focus against a clearly inferior opponent? Well, ↵⇥four turnovers later, you get a staggering 34-27 loss despite outgaining ↵⇥the other team by a mere 227 yards. ↵
↵

↵Kyle King, for his part, declares Chicken Little an optimist. ↵

↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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