Louis Williams, Gilbert Arenas, And Bride Wars

Just a few days ago, on Tuesday night, I watched Louis Williams make an absolute mockery of Gilbert Arenas in fourth quarter of the 76ers-Wizards game. A few weeks ago, I compared Steve Nash to Jennifer Aniston. Building on that point guard-female celebrity analogy… Tuesday night, Louis Williams was Anne Hathaway, and Gilbert Arenas was Kate Hudson, and the game was Bride Wars. First, some background.

Bride Wars was forced upon me by my girlfriend recently, and let me tell you, what an AWFUL movie. Aside from the obvious chick-flickishness, it’s a story about two women who are too stubborn to change their wedding date, and both HAVE to get married at the Plaza Hotel. I officially decided I wanted to pull my fingernails out was when Kate Hudson stormed into her boyfriend’s office and demanded that he ask her to marry him. And he did! Talk about ignoring a red flag… Anyway, after taking my girlfriend to see Inglourious Basterds, we’re definitely even.

But what resonated most for me, other than the horrid entertainment quality, was that Kate Hudson has, uh… lost a step. Or two. Or eight. Or gained twenty pounds. I don’t know. You get the point. But she’s gone from being one of the most gorgeous women in Hollywood to Bride Wars, where she was badly upstaged by Anne Hathaway, an actress who's cute, but by no means “Top 10 in Hollywood” hot. Which Kate Hudson used to be.

By the end of the movie, it was legitimately awkward when they were onscreen together. And, at least on Tuesday night, that’s how the Sixers-Wizards played out. Louis Williams will never be a top 10 guard in this league, but damn, he sure upstaged Gilbert down the stretch. Williams missed the game winner, but he showed enough down the stretch that I left the game wondering where his career might go. And I’m curious just the same for Hathaway.

And on Thursday, one of those questions was answered for the time being. Louis Williams is out for a few months with a broken jaw that’s currently wired shut. Visual confirmation? Twitpic, of course. And for the record, it was between putting that picture of Williams' jaw, or the above shot of Hudson and Hathaway. You’re welcome.

So what’s the lesson, here? Well, first off, Bride Wars is a terrible movie. Second, Louis Williams’ Thanksgiving dinner wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as yours or mine. And finally, the 76ers better-than-you-thought starting point guard is out indefinitely, and at least two months, with a broken jaw. Not to feed the beast, but… Iverson to the 76ers? Maybe? Who’s with me? Anyone? [Ed. note: Apparently the NBA gods have no sense of irony, as ESPN's Marc Stein throws some water on the Iverson-back-to-Philly rumors]