Ted Ginn is Like Jesus, if Jesus Were Whale Poop

Ted Ginn Jr. made himself truly useful for perhaps the first time as a pro last week, returning two kickoffs for touchdowns of 100 yards or more in Miami’s 30-25 win over the Jets.

Whereas some see glimmers of production in what has otherwise been a squandered career, others see the divine. Okay, maybe just Dolphins offensive coordinator Dan Henning, who felt it apt to liken Ginn’s career travails to those of Jesus.

"Wasn’t that marvelous? You know, in the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers and garlands at the Good Lord and then on Friday, they picked him up, beat the s@$* out of him, crucified him, and in this league they give us seven days – only gave him five.

"So we go back three or four weeks ago and Teddy was a hero after the first Jet game, he was a goat after New Orleans and now he’s a hero again. I can’t wait to see the next chapter of this and who decides that."

I’m not up on my theology, but I don’t seem to recall Jesus being a highly touted first-round draft pick out of Ohio State. In fact, now that I think about it, I think Jesus went undrafted. What a pick-up he was.

The Hanning off-putting comparisons weren’t done yet, as Ginn is also compared to ordure of whale. Yum.

"To me, there can be no better human story than what happened last week around here and what Teddy was able to come up with. You can take anything that happened in that game, that was the best feeling for me to see him come out of that. He had to be lower than whale defecation, and that’s at the bottom of the ocean. You know what I mean."

I think there was actually something in the Bible about a whale, however. Just not that.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.