This Week In Schadenfreude: Nov. 9

↵The Blue-Gray Sky has a succinct response to Notre Dame's ↵BCS-hope-crushing loss to Navy: ↵

↵

↵ ↵

↵

↵I don't quite know if that's certain -- it would be tough to fire him if ↵Notre Dame wins out and goes 10-3 -- but everyone who's taken a vague ↵interest in Notre Dame football does. Merely suggesting otherwise is ↵cause for NDNationites to call for your ↵addition to the enemies list: ↵

↵
↵⇥
↵⇥I recommend an ↵⇥instant banning for anyone who posts... ↵⇥
↵⇥by 105Marquette ↵⇥(2009-11-07 23:35:37) ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥...any of the following ↵⇥sentiments: ↵⇥
↵⇥1. I'm staying with Weis/We need to give him more time. ↵⇥
↵⇥2. Let's limit our discussion to "realistic" candidates ↵⇥only. ↵⇥
↵⇥3. Forget it. Meyer/Saban/Stoops aren't coming. ↵⇥
↵⇥4. Weis isn't the one who fumbled/overthrew/missed the FG. ↵⇥
↵⇥5. Weis is staying. Bankit. ↵⇥
↵⇥6. How about X? (Where 'X' is a name that hasn't been mentioned ↵⇥because he isn't remotely qualified, but is suggested by the poster ↵⇥because it makes him look like an outside-the-box thinker.)
↵⇥
↵
↵

↵Yes, that's right: the groupthink at NDNation is squarely focused on ↵Meyer, Saban, and Stoops. Seriously. You don't believe me, I know, but ↵seriously: ↵

↵
↵⇥
↵⇥So, do you take ↵⇥Gruden now or wait for the possibility ↵⇥
↵⇥by FourLeafDomer ↵⇥(2009-11-07 23:23:48) ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥of Meyer or Saban after the BCS ↵⇥bowls are over? Tough call, I think. Announcing Gruden as our head coach ↵⇥on November 30th has some definite advantages over waiting until the ↵⇥middle of January for Meyer or Saban, one of whom would be playing in ↵⇥the BCS championship game. Getting Gruden on board would help preserve a ↵⇥pretty darn good recruiting class and improve our chances of it getting ↵⇥even better. Likewise the ability to attract quality assistants. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥This option is growing on me, as is the idea of Chuckie on our ↵⇥sideline.
↵⇥
↵
↵

↵Even if you accept the premise that Meyer and Saban are pure ↵mercenaries driven only by how much coin they can put in their Scrooge ↵McDuck vault, Alabama and Florida will outbid you. You can offer any ↵amount of money and they will fork over more. ↵

↵

↵That's the what. As to the why: there is, of course, an ↵obvious reason for this: ↵

↵
↵⇥Divine retribution for the Obama outrage. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥tridentum | Email | Homepage | 11.08.09 - 12:50 am | # ↵
↵

↵(For the confused: that outrage was having the sitting president give ↵a speech on your campus. Obama is pro-choice; the speech had nothing to ↵do with that.) Defensive tackle Ian Williams has another suggestion as ↵to why: ↵

↵
↵⇥

↵⇥Yesterday, defensive tackle Ian Williams offered a candid answer in ↵⇥response to why the Irish were defeated by Navy. His answer? Notre Dame ↵⇥was "outschemed", according to Williams. ↵⇥

↵
↵

↵"Scheme" has been a hot-button word in South Bend ever ↵since Weis rolled into town declaring his "decided schematic ↵advantage" was worth a touchdown per game. Safety Kyle McCarthy ↵dismissed a similar question, leading to another press conference ↵question, this one to the big man himself, and this ↵answer: ↵

↵
↵⇥"I did hear quite contrasting answers to the same question," he said. ↵⇥"From what I understand, Kyle McCarthy's answer was quite different ↵⇥where he said it had nothing to do with the scheme. There's a ↵⇥reason why one guy's a captain and one guy's not." ↵
↵

↵Charlie Weis is the first actual participant in college football to ↵grab Scott Tenorman of the Week honors, and Notre Dame is the ↵obvious recipient of this week's Tears of Infinite ↵Sadness. ↵

↵

↵The rest of the week in spleen after the jump. ↵

↵ ↵

ACC

↵

↵Nothing particularly misery-inducing went down in the ACC this week, ↵with scores going as expected and the losers all teams like Wake Forest, ↵Duke, Virginia and Florida State. You know, losing ↵teams who have virtually given up on the idea of bowl eligibility. ↵

↵

↵Surely no one in that bunch is going to mind ↵an off year much... ↵

↵
↵⇥Who in the world is running this ↵⇥program?? ↵⇥Reply ↵⇥
↵⇥For those that still think [Bobby Bowden] is "just ↵⇥fine"...Read this article. He has no idea what goes on during a ↵⇥football game. The players are trying their hardest to keep their ↵⇥conference title hopes alive and BB (their head coach and leader) has, ↵⇥LITERALLY, ZERO IDEA of what went on in the football game. Not even the ↵⇥Bobbyguards can defend this incompetence. The Trustees, President, AD, ↵⇥and Boosters must make sure this ends next month....not next year. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥My apologies if this has already been posted. I checked the first ↵⇥couple of pages and did not see anything about this article. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Link: &"uhh ↵⇥hh..what ↵⇥happened again??" ↵
↵

↵...oh, right. Florida State. It's good ↵for at least one group of people, though: ↵

↵
↵⇥Why is Pepto Bismol ↵⇥pink? ↵⇥Reply ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥I've drunk a lot of bottles by watching us play ↵⇥this year and was just wondering why its pink. Lol ↵
↵

↵Ugh, the dreaded self-lol. ↵

↵

BIG TEN

↵

↵Iowa's loss to Northwestern was the most predictable ↵in the history of top-five teams going up against three-score underdogs, ↵but that doesn't mean it's not a comedown from Rose Bowl, or even ↵national title, dreams: ↵

↵
↵⇥
F--- ↵⇥it
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥None of this is real. The #4 ranking, the accolades, or the ↵⇥undefeated record. We're just not very good. We feasted on a weak Big ↵⇥10, crappy inexperienced QB's, and gift turnovers. I am done freaking ↵⇥out about this. I've tossed my last laptop across the room. I've cried ↵⇥out like a popped my groin for the last time. We suck and we're finally ↵⇥back to the median, where we belong. We're Iowa, after all. It was a ↵⇥good ride, but it's over. ↵⇥
↵
↵

↵I think this might have been an attempt to summon the mojo ↵from last week, as a couple people suggest that this is a C&P from ↵an identical post on the Black ↵Heart Gold Pants Indiana game open thread. The lesson, as always, is ↵that you can only reverse-jinx your team when you really mean it. When ↵you don't, you're just right. ↵

↵

↵Iowa still has a shot at the big money, but thanks to this ↵weekend's events they'll have to win in Columbus if they want to get ↵there. That's because Penn State fell limply to the ↵turf against Ohio State. No more crying ↵Pryor pictures for PSU fans. More flashbacks ↵to the bad old days of Penn State quarterbacks: ↵

↵
↵⇥Why did it feel like I was watching Iowa ↵⇥04Reply ↵⇥

↵⇥  ↵⇥

↵⇥
↵⇥on Saturday? I thought Zack Mills was at QB ↵⇥again. Mr. Paterno I want my money back after watching that ↵⇥debacle. ↵
↵

↵Buckeye punt returner Ray Small averaged nearly 20 yards a ↵pop on seven opportunities, and this has ↵not sat well with the rabble: ↵

↵
↵⇥MC Escher, Rube Goldberg and Tim Burton my choice for special ↵⇥teams coaches Reply ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥...at least with these guys as special team ↵⇥coaches we could understand why the special teams are the way they are. ↵
↵

↵Prone to weird angles, unnecessarily complicated systems ↵and ... um ... weird hair? ↵

↵

↵And this column is honor-bound to mention the continued ↵suck that is the Michigan defense, which condemned the ↵Wolverines to yet another loss on Saturday and caused your columnist to ↵start reminiscing about the Appalachian State debacle -- known as "The ↵Horror" on the home base -- and old, possibly hallucinated cartoons: ↵

↵
↵⇥[W]hen Michigan was down to Purdue in the second half, ↵⇥some fan ten or twenty rows behind me kept shouting "they've got no ↵⇥heart" over and over again as the guy in the row in front of me ↵⇥called for Rodriguez's firing. Having a conversation about Michigan ↵⇥football right now is trying to remember that episode of GI Joe ↵⇥where Destro finds a secret ninja manual in a volcano that allows him to ↵⇥kill people with precisely-applied touches: if you can just remember ↵⇥where the red dots are you can spare everyone a lot of pain. ↵
↵

↵Meanwhile in the comments, not advocating for Rodriguez's ↵ouster is now symptomatic of a "defensive, ↵conformist mindset," which is something Greg Robinson could ↵use. So ... how was your weekend? ↵

↵

↵BONUS: This isn't particularly relevant to the ↵thrust of the column, but it may well be the dumbest thing ever seen on ↵the internet. Doctor ↵Saturday's comment section provides: ↵

↵
    ↵⇥
  • ↵⇥
    ↵⇥michiganlady 13. Posted by michiganlady ↵⇥Sat Nov 07, 2009 8:40 pm EST ↵⇥
    ↵⇥
    ↵⇥Heres what I saw today...Purdue team being cowards in the last 2 ↵⇥minutes by wasting 50 seconds of play time out of fear that Michigan ↵⇥would move the ball close enough to get a field goal and therefore beat ↵⇥them.. ↵⇥
    ↵⇥
  • ↵
↵

↵They can do that? ↵

↵

BIG EAST

↵

↵Only three games, all of which saw the chalk prevail -- though in ↵Cincinnati's case it was a desperately close thing -- so there's nothing to ↵do but delve back into the wounded souls of Louisville ↵fans in the waning days of the Kragthorpe era-type substance. Kragthorpe ↵went with walk-on Will Stein at quarterback this week over UL's previous ↵starters, and it didn't ↵exactly work out: ↵

↵
↵⇥

You ↵⇥can't blame stein for any of this

↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥he played as well as he could have. You blame the coach who put him ↵⇥in over the three other scholarship quarterbacks. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥I hate you steve kragthorpe. I hate you so much ↵
↵

↵I like that guy's style. I remember muttering "I hate you so ↵much" verbatim at Jim Herrmann in the midst of Ohio State's ↵game-winning touchdown drive in 2005. More: ↵

↵
↵⇥
↵⇥

Krag ↵⇥runs the offense. The offensive play calling (not execution) was awful. ↵⇥Krag is f------ idiot who it completely overmatched

↵⇥
↵⇥If there is one thing I won't stand for, it's people protecting Krag. ↵⇥The kids on the team are playing hard. Krag is a lame duck of a pitiful ↵⇥son of a b---- who realizes the end it near. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵
↵

↵Louisville has the 'Cuse this weekend in what would be a fantastic ↵basketball matchup. It is ↵not a basketball matchup: ↵

↵
↵⇥
↵⇥Someone really needs to create a bad ass Louisville/Syracuse ↵⇥highlight(?) video in prep for the biggest game in Big East history. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥This is the week. This is our time. This is our moment. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Yes, I had to look up the schedule to see who we were playing this ↵⇥weekend. ↵⇥
↵
↵

↵Say it with me: basketball season is coming. What a weird thing to ↵say and mean. ↵

↵

BIG 12

↵

↵Nebraska's turnover tilt-a-whirl caught Oklahoma in a bad place, ↵SoonerFans.com had to go with the Moderator ↵Scolding Sticky: ↵

↵
↵⇥The next person who starts... ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥a "hate on Landry" thread is going to get one hell of a ↵⇥banning. ↵⇥
↵⇥Please post your vitriol in the 27 other "Landry sucks" ↵⇥threads going right now. ↵
↵

↵One of 27 reasons is this picture yanked off facebook and posted for ↵mocking: ↵

↵
↵⇥
↵⇥Thumbs down ↵⇥THIS is Our Quarterback ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥And tonight he provided us the worst ↵⇥quarterback play since the days of John Blake. ↵⇥
↵
↵

↵ ↵

↵

↵No one on the internet ever gets that you can't mock a guy who is ↵screwing around for humor value. ↵

↵

↵And this ↵would be quite a world, wouldn't it? ↵

↵
↵⇥The kid had a bad game, but he deserves a chance to work it out. ↵⇥Enough of this knee jerk reaction BS. If the message board ↵⇥"experts" ran the team, there would be firings, scholarship ↵⇥revocations, and public floggings after every game! ↵⇥

↵⇥  ↵⇥

↵
↵

↵Notre Dame should try that. It couldn't go worse than the last 15 ↵years. ↵

↵

PAC-10

↵

↵Stanford 51, Oregon 42, totally ↵reasonable response to that outcome: ↵

↵
↵⇥

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????????????????????

↵
↵

↵Seriously. In all ways, that response makes sense even though that ↵was about the refs. There was also a guy wandering around the Oregon ↵Scout message board during the game berating Chicken Littles, which led ↵to this ↵classic exchange: ↵

↵

↵greengoblin: Wow...just wow.
↵Duckdude1: Wow, good? or Wow, bad? ↵
↵greengoblin: Wow not good. Stanfords offense owns ↵us. ↵
↵AZDuck: Your ignorance of the game is astounding. ↵
↵greengoblin: your ignorance of the fact that ↵Stanford is avg. 11 yards a play and [Andrew] Luck is avg. over 30 a completion ↵is astounding. ↵

↵

↵Greengoblin wins the internet this week. ↵

↵

SEC

↵

↵Nothing happened in the SEC this weekend. Virtually the entire ↵conference took a mid-year opportunity to beat up on I-AA tomato cans. ↵There was the LSU-Alabama game, and a rare (this year, anyway) ↵opportunity to drop in on the bar-none battiest fanbase in college ↵football. Tiger Droppings is the place of choice for ill-considered ↵rants about LSU football, and this time I didn't even ↵have to click through to the message board to get ↵this: ↵

↵
↵⇥The Southeastern Conference Offices in ↵⇥Birmingham, Alabama exist primarily to ensure the safety, fairness and ↵⇥integrity of the uniquely American game known as college football among ↵⇥its twelve member institutions. Unfortunately, money has obviously ↵⇥corrupted their existence, just as it has so many other American ↵⇥institutions, like Congress, the stock market, and even the medical and ↵⇥legal professions. The Southeastern Conference is sadly American greed's ↵⇥latest victim, evidenced by the ongoing conspiracy to name and play ↵⇥favorites through its compromised officials toward creating the most ↵⇥lucrative matchup in the SEC Championship Game. ↵
↵

↵This is not a parody. I think. I've read the whole thing, and if it's ↵a parody I lose and they win. But it's not. Probably: ↵

↵
↵⇥The SEC will surely stand by its replay booth official. It will tell ↵⇥us that what we saw, we really did not see. The camera, not the ↵⇥official, lied; and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy ↵⇥all concurred. Who are we to disagree as our most favored Deep Southern ↵⇥pastime approaches the credibility of professional boxing under Don ↵⇥King. ↵
↵

↵You'll have to forgive me if I'm not quite sure. ↵

↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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