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Updated throughout the day with quick takes from staff.

Calculating The Bears' Playoff Odds. No, Really.

You may think this is schadenfreude, but...okay, fine, it's schadenfreude. The Chicago Bears, who now stand at 5-7, are projected to have a 0.1% chance of reaching the postseason this year -- the lowest odds of any team that isn't mathematically eliminated by this point. Here's what has to happen:

1. The Bears have to win the rest of their games to finish at 9-7. They play the Packers Sunday, then face the Ravens, Vikings, and Lions to close out the season.

2. Both the 8-4 Packers and 8-4 Eagles, who are contending for a wild card spot, have to lose the rest of the games. It's no good if the Bears tie them at 9-7, because both the Eagles (who have beaten them this season) and the Packers (who hold a superior conference record) would win a tiebreaker.

3. Given 2 happens, the Giants, who stand at 7-5, will beat the Eagles. Since the Giants have a better common-opponent record than the Bears, they'll have to lose the remainder of their games to finish at an inferior 8-8.

4. Earth will have to avoid being hit by a massive, civilization-snuffing meteor. This is the easiest hurdle.

In short, 14 specific games have to fall in the Bears' favor. If all these conditions fall into place, the NFL playoffs will be treated to Jay Cutler and his Debbie Downer-esque facial expression. Go get 'em, Bears!

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