The Charlotte Bobcats And The Buzzsaw That Is Gerald Wallace

For years, Deadspin’s Will Leitch had been calling the Arizona Cardinals “the buzzsaw,” and it was always just ridiculous enough to be hilarious. To the rest of us, they just seemed like a perpetually mediocre team, with an apathetic fanbase, and terrible management.

Then last year, everything made sense.

And, well, if we were looking for basketball’s buzzsaw, I think the answer is clear. Charlotte has all the right ingredients—apathy, mediocrity, incompetence at the highest levels—and most important, they’ve got Gerald Wallace. Watch where the basketball goes after this dunk:

There’s really no better way to describe the way Gerald Wallace plays basketball. Buzzsaw.

And with Wallace currently nabbing 12 rebounds every night, leading the league in minutes, at least one eye-popping block or dunk per night…

He is everywhere.

Impressive enough so that it prompted our Bobcats blogger, David Arnott, to create a new website. Gerald Wallace Facts. Enjoy:

During the 9 months Gerald’s mother was pregnant with him, she averaged a double-double.

If you play the 1976 Earth, Wind & Fire song Shining Star backwards, it says “Gerald Wallace IS an All- Star.” Gerald Wallace wasn’t even born until 1982!

Gerald Wallace would have also started at cornerback for the Alabama football team during his freshman season were it not for his refusal to wear pads.

Coaches, announcers and commentators have been using the term “Crash the Boards” for 30 years in anticipation of Gerald Wallace.

At one point in time, they thought that diamonds were the only indestructible thing in the world, but then they found Gerald Wallace.

Ladies and gentleman, behold… BUZZSAW!