NBA Talking Points: Curses And Christmas Parties

Okay well we might as well make this clear up front: last night was SB Nation's christm--(electroshocked by HR lawyers) our HOLIDAY party, and as a result, you're getting a pared down version of talking points this week, one of which has nothing to do with basketball, and one of which centers on a player that retired 15 years ago.

But before we get started, a word about christmas parties. HOW AWESOME ARE THEY? It's difficult to think of another setting in life where it's so accepted--encouraged, really--to get drunk with a bunch of people who you only sorta know, and do lots of embarrassing stuff with people that, when you think about it, pay you to be responsible on a daily basis. And the craziest thing is that everyone knows this going in, expects this, and acts accordingly.

The only other parallel I can think of is a wedding, where everyone is just like, "(he or she) is getting married?!" ... "I'm getting drunk, and tonight, there are no rules." Crazy hookups happen, people end up singing karaoke, badly, and suddenly you find yourself in a conversation with the father of the bride talking about college. It's awesome.

Not saying any of the above things happened, but had they happened, nobody would have blinked. BECAUSE IT'S A CHRISTMAS PARTY. And a million different people are shaking off a hangover this morning, thinking to themselves, "well, that happened, didn't it?" It did. "But hey, it was a Christmas party, all bets are off."

And that's why christmas parties are awesome. Except for the NBA Christmas party, of course. That would just be terrifying. Picture David Stern: "No, really, please. Have some more sherry. It's delicious, isn't it? Good, good. I'm glad you're having fun. I am, too. It's a party, after all."

You wake up the next morning, and there's Adam Silver at the door to your apartment, severance check in hand. YOU WORK FOR THE WNBA NOW. MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM COMMISSIONER STERN!

Fact: the Suns have lost seven-teen straight games on TNT. Really, it's true. From our Suns blog, Bright Side of The Sun:

At this point breaking that curse has surpassed all possible objectives for the Suns season. Forget about the playoffs. Forget about being the Most Watchable Team. The Phoenix Suns simply must BREAK THE CURSE!!!

For those of you who don't believe in these kinds of things (as if 17 straight losses on TNT is some kind of coincidence) might point out the 13 point lead the Suns had going into the 4th quarter and call out the Suns inability to close out the game. The first of 13 games the Suns have lost this season after taking a lead into the final period.

That 13 point lead was cut to 5 within the first two and half minutes as the Suns missed two shots and turned the ball over while the Blazers hit two three's and a deuce. Just like that the curse reaches up and grabs your ankles and drags you down in the mud where it spikes your eyes and rips your heart from your chest.

Now, a cynical NBA fan might say, "Hey, at least you guys get to PLAY on TNT." But that sort of misses the point: this is a coincidence of cosmic proportions. Like, what the hell? On seventeen different occasions, the Suns have managed to falter in prime time. Call it the curse of the Chuckster:

Ever since the Phoenix Suns traded Charles Barkley, the haven't won on TNT--wait, that can't be right. Yeah, that's definitely not it. Ever since Charles Barkley got his DUI charge? Who knows what's happening here? The Phoenix Suns are a good team; since 2007, TNT has made them look like the Clippers. And last night's fourth quarter collapse typifies the Sisyphean nature of all this. No matter how close they come to breaking through, it's not happening. Maybe Zeus cursed them?

One things for certain: if Phoenix loses at Memphis on January 18th--on TNT--the universe is against them.

So we know this already. It's been documented. The Knicks are a mess, and that's just the way the world works. Like getting inappropriately drunk at Christmas parties--we expect this. But like any good shitshow, it's worth reliving from time to time. Just look at their box score from last night. AL HARRINGTON TOOK FIFTEEN THREE-POINTERS.

Highlights:

We covered the depressed state of affairs in Chicago and New York last week, and really, last night should have been a testament to the epic sucktitude of those two franchises. But then, it's just like New York to steal Chicago's thunder, isn't it?

We wrote about a college team (Northwestern) that shot 47 threes this past weekend, and I said this, "like that power forward that just tries to dunk every time he touches the ball, there's something entertaining, if ignorant, about the team willing to live-and-die by the three.Like basketball anarchy: you don't have to endorse it, but it's sure fun to watch from afar."

But that's a college basketball team. And there a million different things acceptable in college that aren't okay for professional life. Anarchy is recommended in college; you're doing it wrong if you're not living with controlled chaos. But the D'Antoni Knicks are like that 38 year-old at the bar, trying to get CRAZY. At some point, it stops being fun and starts being a cry for help.

Al Harrington, Wilson Chandler, Jared Jefferies, and Danilo Galinarri combined to take 35 threes last night.

In case you've been under a rock the past few weeks--or, you know, watching football like everyone else--Tyreke Evans has emerged as the clear-cut Rookie of the Year leader, and it's really not that close at this point. Brandon Jennings has been a revelation and single-handedly reinvigorated a franchise, but with Jennings coming back to earth and Evans continuing his assault on the whole league, it's becoming clear: Tyreke Evans is just a better player. In any other year, Jennings would probably be a no-brainer to win it, but... Tyreke Evans.

The requisite, glowing Sports Illustrated feature had a pinch of basketball heresy though:

"You hate to compare players like this," said Trail Blazers coach Nate McMillan on Wednesday after escaping with a 95-88 win against Evans' Kings, "but I think he's got some Magic [Johnson] in him. He's a big guard that can see the floor, he's unselfish, he gets to the rim, he uses his body very well, he's good in transition, he can rebound and push the ball, and a small or big guard doesn't really faze him."

And yeah, he's really good. But to say that he's Magic--or even worthy of the juxtaposition--now we're taking this a little bit too far. He's got all the makings of a very good NBA player, but there's nothing that says he's going to be that good-- or Great, to be exact. As potential superstars go, he's not very athletic, and he's not a great shooter. He's stronger than a lot of people and can get to the rim consistently, but that's not necessarily an indicator of some future reign over the NBA. 

Right now, Tyreke feels like a Dwyane Wade-type playmaker, but with a big, ginormous question mark. The quality that sets Wade apart from other "very good" players in the NBA is his abilitiy to push himself to another level in crunch time. If it weren't for that intangible, it's hard to imagine Wade being alongside Lebron and Kobe as one of the best players in basketball. With Evans, it's waaaaaaaay too early to tell whether he's got that last ingredient.

And yeah, you could count this late-game steal as a indication of this intangible, but I like to think of it as yet another step toward Gilbert Arenas driving me to insanity. Gilbert iso'd in crunch time? HELL YEAH.

(HT: Truth About It)

I wasn't going to buy Chris Ballard's The Art of a Beautiful Game basketball book, but now he's gone and forced my hand. With anecdotes like this:

"…Mullin is said to have sunk 194 consecutive jumpers during a workout. So pure is the stroke of such shooters that it is oblivious to all attempts at sabotage, both external, or internal. A journalist buddy of mine has a friend who used to work at a beach club on Long Island. He recalls once coming up on Mullin at the club, a few years after Mullin left St. John’s and before he quit drinking. It was late one summer night, almost dark, and the friend heard sounds coming from a nearby basketball court. Checking it out, he discovered Mullin, standing there by himself, taking swigs of beer with his right hand and launching one-handed three-pointers with his left, a partially completed six-pack at his side. Shot after shot sank through the net. Swig. Swish. Swig. Swish. Swig. Swish."

Good God that's badass.

Thanks to Ryan, our new night BOSS, and Waxin and Milkin. And Chris Ballard, of course.