The Cocaine Kiss Defense is Proven Infallible

French tennis player Richard Gasquet was suspended after testing positive for having traces of cocaine in his body back in May. His guffaw-inducing defense was that he had likely inadvertently contracted the substance by kissing a woman in a Miami nightclub the day before anti-doping tests were administered.

The Court of Arbitration for Sports has ruled that the excuse will fly.

"On a balance of probability, the CAS panel concluded that it was more likely than not that the player's contamination with cocaine resulted, as Gasquet always asserted, from kissing a woman in a nightclub in Miami on the day before the anti-doping test and that the player had met the required standards of proof with respect to the way of ingestion."

Standards of proof? Did he produce the club rat he was kissing on? Perhaps they reasoned that it was Miami and therefore everyone there is covered in at least some cocaine.

"It was also established that the player was clearly not a regular cocaine user, even in very small amounts. As a consequence, the possibility of contamination became the most plausible explanation justifying the presence of cocaine metabolite in the player's urine."

Wait. So just because the guy isn't going on regular cocaine binges, you automatically assume he didn't do it this time? Quite a steep burden of proof you have there, CAS. Gasquet may very well be telling the truth, but then he just as easily could be lying. Doesn't matter now though. He's back on the courts again.

(H/T to Sportress of Blogitude)

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