Shanoff's WUC: Tiger, Nets, Civil War, Big Ten

Today's Calls: Tiger vs. Jesper Parnevik, 0-18 Nets vs. 0-16 Lions, Oregon vs. Oregon State, Buffalo vs. Toronto, Big Ten vs. ACC, Colt McCoy vs. Tim Tebow, Kobe vs. LeBron, Drew Brees vs. History and More. ↵

↵The Opening Pitch: Sometimes you need to let things speak for themselves. ↵

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↵• "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart." ↵
↵Oh, I'm sure he regrets SOMETHING ... probably being exposed more than anything else. ↵

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↵• "I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves." ↵
↵Hard to hide behind "true...values" when you hear details like "31 months." ↵

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↵• "I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. ↵
↵Agreed! ↵

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↵• "I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family." ↵
↵That can't be easy. ↵

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↵• "Those feelings should be shared by us alone." ↵
↵Actually, maybe you should try a little openness. Look where secrecy got you. ↵

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↵The best line from The Voice-Mail: "My wife went through my phone. And, uh, may be calling you." ↵

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↵The best line from Jesper Parnevik, who set up Elin with Tiger: "We probably thought he was a better guy than he is. I would probably need to apologize to her and hope she uses a driver next time instead of the 3-iron." ↵

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↵Kalika Moquin: Google Trends has become Tiger Woods' de facto online news service. ↵

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↵Aaand ... the inevitable: AshleyMadison.com -- like Match.com for adultery -- would like Tiger to be its sponsor (per TMZ, naturally). I'm sure Nike, Gatorade, Gillette, Tag Heuer, Chevron and the others will be thrilled about that. ↵

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↵Nets 0-18! 0-18! 0-18! Like the Lions' 0-16 a year ago, there is something spectacularly awesome about perfection -- whether it is for something good or something sorry. I want them to go 0-82, just for the novelty. But I'll settle for locking in on the next record in their sights: Longest losing streak in NBA history. (The record is 23: Totally doable!) ↵

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↵I mock, but it's no joke to Nets players: "It's like we are laying down," said a despondent Chris Douglas-Roberts. ↵

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↵Sixers sign AI: Enjoy him, Philly fans. You appreciated him more than the rest of us, and as you have nothing to look forward to this season anyway except mediocrity, at least you get one more season of watching AI up close. Shoals asks an essential question: Who will school AI like AI schooled Jordan? ↵

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↵NBA's Best: Kobe over LeBron. That's what SN's expert poll said while ranking the Top 50 players in the NBA, and the result wasn't even close. That's not the same as the "Who would you start a franchise with?" question, and not the related "If you account for age, who is the best player in the NBA?" question. ↵

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↵CFB: Oregon at Oregon State. Pac-10 Championship Game, Rose Bowl Play-In and Civil War, all rolled into one. The two rivals -- and it's one of the best in college football -- have never played a bigger game against each other. Pick: Oregon St. ↵

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↵Alabama-Florida: Lane Kiffin never misses a chance to bash Urban Meyer. ↵

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↵Heisman Watch: The three leading straw polls are in, and it looks like Colt McCoy's award to lose. He is 1st in both the HeismanPundit.com and Scripps-Howard polls, and 2nd in the USA Today poll (which is led by Tim Tebow). Tebow is 2nd in the SH poll and 4th in the HP poll. But Tebow's selection as a finalist -- for an unprecedented third time -- seems assured. ↵

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↵By the way, you should read this fascinating take-down of McCoy's bona fides. It won't matter: Heisman voters love to give the award for "lifetime achievement," particularly to the QB of an unbeaten "name-brand" team, even if that team plays against terrible defenses, every week. ↵

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↵BCS Mess: So have you been following this debacle of the BCS hiring a PR firm to manage its image? They launched a Twitter feed (fail). They launched a Web site dedicated to trashing a playoff (ugh). But the Daily Beast's Bryan Curtis actually talked with BCS spin-meister Ari Fleischer. Nope, bashing a playoff still doesn't resonate. ↵

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↵Notre Dame Coaching Search: Is Brian Kelly the guy? That's what a site called "Irish Central" says. Hmm: I think Brian Kelly should be the next coach at Notre Dame, but I'm going to wait for a little bit more confirmation. Jack Swarbrick doesn't seem ready to name a coach yet, either. ↵

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↵NFL Public Service Announcement: Don't forget to set your fantasy roster, particularly if you have any Jets or Bills starters. Although if you have any Jets or Bills starters, you probably aren't in the playoff hunt in your league anyway. ↵

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↵As for the Jets-Bills game itself? Meh. Neither team is going to make the playoffs, and the most interesting thing about the game is the way fans in Buffalo are screwed over by the Bills relocating a precious home game to Toronto. ↵

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↵I suppose it's worth tuning in to see if Mark Sanchez takes advantage of Joe Girardi's sliding tutorial -- and Ryan Fitzpatrick, a favorite of mine since his days at Harvard, is always worth watching. Pick: Toronto Bills ↵

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↵Can we go back to Drew Brees on Monday night for a sec? I love a good superlative. How does "single-greatest regular-season performance by a quarterback ever" sound? CHFF (of course) has the argument why. ↵

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↵GM Carousel: Is Mike Holmgren headed back to Seattle to run the team? With the GM out today, could it happen this week? (Certainly this month, if it's going to happen at all.) ↵

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↵Concussion Watch: The NFL has made more progress on handling concussions in the last four months (perhaps last four weeks) than they have in the previous 40+ years of the Super Bowl era combined. That doesn't mean they have gone nearly far enough, but it's a start. Let's hope the NFL doesn't think that its latest policy change related to concussions is an ending. ↵

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↵CBB Mania: Maybe, just maybe, Wisconsin should be ranked in the Top 25. Hmm ... ya think?!?! Either that, or -- as usual -- Duke is absurdly overrated. Just file this one away until March, so you can justify ousting Duke by the Sweet 16. ↵

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↵Meanwhile: The Big Ten ended a 10-year drought to the ACC in their "Challenge," which the Big Ten had never won ... until last night. (Thanks, Clemson!) The Nets could learn something from that kind of persistence. ↵

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↵MLB Hot Stove: Would you like to see the LDS expanded to 7 games? What if it meant reducing the regular season, say, by 4 games? ... The White Sox insist they aren't shopping Bobby Jenks ... Intriguing: Who wants Rick Ankiel? (Hmm: The Pirates?) ↵

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↵The Last Word: "It's a private thing of course. But when you are the guy he is, the world's best athlete, you should think more before you do stuff." -- More from Jesper Parnevik. Ouch. ↵

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↵Dan Shanoff writes The Wake-Up Call every weekday morning for SportingNews.com and blogs daily at DanShanoff.com. Got any comments, questions or feedback? Email Dan at shanofftsn-[at]-gmail-[dot]-com. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/danshanoff. ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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