I Came For A World Cup Draw, And The Eurovision Song Contest Broke Out

The announcement ceremony of the World Cup Draw is taking place in the cavernous convention center in Cape Town, and the glossy set and pomp make the whole thing feel not unlike a round of the Eurovision Song Contest. If a Finnish death metal band walked on and began firing away at full blast it would not feel entirely out of place.

ESPN is going wall-to-wall with their coverage, taking the hydra approach they take to every sport by throwing a podium with four talking heads attached to it at the viewer as well as putting Jeremy Schaap on location. The signal delay has already made for one awkward exchange between Bob Ley and Schaap, who doubled the awkward by jamming a joke about Jets fans into my World Cup Coverage. If someone on the ESPN crew is reading this, please staple hundred dollar bills to the back of his jacket and drop him off on a strange and dark Cape Town street. Thanks in advance.

Having Bob Ley on ESPN is a nod as serious commitment, though, as Ley is the fluffy bathrobe of broadcast hotel amenities. When you bust out the Bob Ley, it’s a sign you’re setting your controls on "classy." Meanwhile, on Univision, they too are set on "classy," as they only have one woman in a low-cut dress on their set at the moment, an all-time low as far as we know.