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Miguel Tejada Finally Makes Baseball Funnier Than the All-Drug Olympics

by Spencer Hall • Feb 10, 2009 4:12 PM EST

If you're moaning about how Cooperstown should be closed because steroids punctured the miasma of romantic crapola you surrounded the game of baseball with, go elsewhere for sympathy. If you didn't see a sudden, record-breaking 15 year streak of power numbers as a mathematical anomaly explained only by swollen, steroid-built players, then you probably failed every math class you took after eighth grade, or are reading this while eating a tasty bowl of lead paint chips and children's mucilage. (Mix 'em together -- they taste better that way.)

Oh, it all wasn't as funny as the All-Drug Olympics ...


... until today, that is. The announcement that Miguel Tejada is likely nearing a plea for lying to Congress officially makes this funnier than the Steroid Olympics. I would now like to formally congratulate Tejada on doing to Congress what Congress has been doing to the United States for the better part of 200 plus years: lying completely and fully about its activities and what it spends money on when no one's looking.

Yes, lying is wrong and should never, ever be done, but giving America's most venerable liars club a few red herrings to chew on destroys the instrumentation we use to measure irony. Well-played, Senor: you are a truly man of style, and style is something that not even Congress can put on probation.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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